The Batman (2022 Review)

The Batman (2022 Review)

A Story by dw817

Matt Reeves' vision of the new Batman is not the visionary we hoped him to be.



The Batman (2022 Review)

© April 2022 - Written by David Wicker
Please do not reprint without permission

* * *

This review is Rated: EVERYONE


Hello ... I know it's been what, a year or more ? Since I wrote. Quite a bit has happened. But I'm not going to go into detail on that yet. When I write the next Future Barrier chapter, I will do that.

No, this is a simple project just to get me back into writing - and I feel it's for a good cause.

Cause I did NOT like the new 2022 Batman movie. Let me explain.
First off I did see this whole movie, from beginning to end.
And ... I was disappointed, and that's putting it nicely.

Let me start off by what I =DO= like about it. And that is the villain Falcone played by John Turturro. He was EXCELLENT. He was smart, clever, manipulative, and evil all the way through. I would definitely like to see him in future movies if even only Batman.

His quiet sinister / friendly demeanor, even his gravelly VOICE, much like temptation itself, was refreshing to hear as almost all the other actors in here floundered with their parts. He fit in quite nicely and if I were to ever see this horrible Batman movie again, it would be only to see his parts in it.

He was great.

OK, Now let's get to the train wreck.

There is one thing I like ... or don't ... about Robert Pattinson portraying the new Batman. He's showing in a fight he's human. He gets hurt a lot in this movie.

I think - I think I rather liked it better when he appeared superhuman, you know, like an Emo Superman or something like the Dark Knight showed him to be. Powerful. Gadgets. Darkness. Invulnerable.

Even from just a gadget standpoint. Look at this disaster. That is the new 2022 Batmobile by the way. Basically a dirty roadster with one nitro engine. Now compare that with the 1989 Batmobile.

Batman is fantasy. I think people have forgotten this over time. We WANT to see the impossible. We want to see the fantastic - like this work of art tearing down the road without so much as a finger smudge on the glass. We DON'T want to see something that looks like its from a used car lot. That's my thoughts on this.

And this last Batman movie made shows that he's human and that he makes all kinds of mistakes. Like when his parachute gets caught in a bridge and he just about dies from being thrashed all around in it.

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to appreciate that new image. We always liked to see Batman WIN. He really makes a bunch of careless mistakes in this newest movie and you CRINGE when it happens because it's not what we're used to seeing.

This movie does have its moments but they are seldom and far between. Even the twist ending can't save it.

The bad guy, the Riddler played by Paul Dano is ... different. I know movies are all striving to be unique and original and - well - maybe they succeeded here.

He's definitely no Heath Ledger but he's also not a Frank Gorshin either. Kind of a fine line between the two with EXTREME overacting by both Batman and him.

Yet It's painful to watch. I'm sorry. I have to say that. From his leaving his mouth gaping open, I guess for dramatic effect, and howling like an animal - to offkey singing Ava Maria. There's not a lot to like or even hate about him, not really.

To a REAL Batman fan who has followed all the way from the 1943 B&W series up to "The Dark Knight Rises," this movie is a clear disappointment with ZERO rewatch value - outside of the earlier mentioned Falcone.

Hell even "Batman & Robin" from 1997 the major 4th movie flop with 125-million dollars spent on its production with Uma Thurman and Arnold Schwarzenegger as villains were better than this tripe. That movie was FUN to watch and I would watch it again.

I suspect there will be polarized views for this latest Batman fare. For those who have never seen a single Batman movie or TV episode, yeah, it's fair. Watch it if you absolutely can't find anything else - if only for Falcone.

But if you have seen so much as ANY other Batman movie or TV episode from any other actor. Don't waste your time. Don't waste your money. And definitely don't waste your brainpower trying to figure it out. Not at nearly 3 hours ! And yes, this movie is only 5-minutes short of 3-hours. A real snoozefest.

Ask ANYONE what the plot of this particular film was, even die-hard fans of it, and they'll come up empty handed. The plot was a real throwaway that any hormone driven teenager could've come up with.

The only saving grace overall was that a lot of people got killed and there was a bit of mystery about it. Still many movies outside this can and have done it better.

Catwoman played by Zoe Kravitz was so underplayed there was absolutely no sexual tension between her and Batman.

Where you could easily see this kind of interest going back as far as the camp series in 1960 with Julie Newmar.

Even Michelle Pfieffer in the 2nd major Batman movie, "Batman Returns" did better than her.

... or Anne Hathaway in The Dark Knight Rises. There was always that feeling, that warmth of sexuality. You could hear her leather pants creak when she leaned over the batcycle when batman let her borrow it. I imagine a lot of people remember that.

I'm not saying this image is the only reason for Batman but it does help the overall impression, that has always been there. The humid heat. And there was zero of that in this latest movie. Hell the mask Zoe wore was just a ski hat with a cutout, nothing fancy or fantasy about it.

And the outfit she wore did in no way highlight a supple figure. Just a wrinkled black raincoat. Compare that with Anne's above which was almost painted on her.

This movie also threatens the very image of Batman. Yes it does. It takes Bruce's parents and makes them look evil and corrupt, and to us fans who always want to see them as shining and golden examples to Gotham.

It is a smack in the face almost as hard as the recent one with Will Smith and Chris Rock. We don't want to see this ! We don't want to hear this. We want to see Batman fight corrupt bad guys and be a shining beacon himself when its all done. That the Wayne name itself is an unblemished and golden star.

Now we do remember Heath Ledger. Oh yes. He was epic. He set the new bar for villains in Batman and we perfectly remember that movie clearly and well, "The Dark Knight" from 2008.

This guy, this new villain of the Riddler, is completely forgettable. And SUCH an overactor. He makes William Shatner look and sound like the serious Vin Diesel.

It's that bad. It REALLY is.

Even the flamboyant boy in leotards, Jim Carrey pulled off the Riddler so much better than he did.

I hope any new production teams for the future Batman movies from here on in will listen to the critics such as myself and do something DIFFERENT. Something positive. Something people will say, "I just saw the new Batman movie in the theater and it was so awesome I'm going back with my friends to see it again next week."

Hollywood, Paramount, whoever you are. LISTEN to that. You want REWATCH value in your productions. Batman is fantasy and you seem to have forgotten that. You want a movie so good that whomever sees it once likes it so much that they later invite their friends to see it in the theater with them again.

That they later buy toys of it for their kids or their own personal collection, that they rent or own the Blu-Ray video when it comes out. Hell you want them to even purchase the videogame when it comes out for the PS6 or whatever.

That is the coin of the realm today. If you plan to achieve excellence. If you plan to achieve profit. Rewatch value of the perfect original and marketability of its unforgettable and memorable positive image.

There was NONE to very little of that for me in this latest release.

And without this one element of rewatch ability, movie producers, you are just flushing your money down the toilet alongside so many other people and careers in filmmaking.

Thought I would add this. If you want to experience a great Batman movie, or really two of them as it's a two-parter, watch, "Batman The Dark Knight Returns" both movies from 2012 - double feature. So tremendously better than this 2022 crap.

If you're feeling Brave and Bold, you can watch the only Rated R animated Batman movie to come out from Warner Bros called, "The Killing Joke." It's also quite good but definitely not for the kids.

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Added on April 19, 2022
Last Updated on April 19, 2022
Tags: davidw, batman, heath ledger, robert pattinson, zoe kravitz, paul dano, ava maria, gotham city, batmobile, batcycle, catwoman, the riddler



Fort Worth, TX