Chapter 11.

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! (Nope!) c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 (If it is like all of your other chapters then it is stupid.) it delz wit rly sris issus! (I see.) sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me! (…what?)

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“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her f**k off (How sweet of you.) and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood (Seriously, see a doctor about that.) and then I slit both of my wrists. (Therapists are there to help those that slit their wrists.) They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak (Ooh a piece of meat!) and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. (Then the story would be over and then we would all live happily ever after, but no…) I was so f*****g depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. (How do you put lace on sandly? And why would you have sand in your bedroom. Are you at a beach?”  put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends (Pink is really not that “goffic” of a color, but okay.) and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t f*****g believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating (That is not what that means, but okay.) to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

“EW, YOU F*****G PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” (But you are already in clothes.) I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion (You would have a reload the gun a lot of times to do that.) times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. (Awe, now they can’t get anymore video of you in clothing!) Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. “Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…(Don’t need that pause.)

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk. (Random much.)

“What do you know, Hargrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore’s wand had shot him. (Enoby, was the one that shot him not Dumbledore! Who shall now be called Dumblydore!) “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. (I love the spelling of triumphantly right here!) “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!” (Cool story bro…but she was still dressed.)

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood. (Most people don’t drink blood.)

“Why are you doing this?” Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. (Clook? I don’t think that’s a word, Enoby.)

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. (What the heck are you talking about?)

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. (Poor 50 Cent being dragged into this just like Linkin Park, and all the other great bands that are mentioned in this crap filled fanfic!)

“Because you’re goffic?” Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HER!” (Does everyone love you, Enoby, cause that’s what it seems like to me!)

Reviews

[Bluefire]

Lmao! Just as funny as I remember. XD
This is one of my favorite books of yours.
Thanks for sharing!