Drunk Driving

The poor little boy was walking along the road,
He was looking for his little lost puppy,
When he heard tires screeching,
Trying to stop,
Before it hit that poor little boy,
The car ended up hitting him,
Then he died,
He was only searching for that puppy,
He went to jail for drunk driving,
His blood alcohol level was way over what it was supposed to be.
He couldn't stop drinking,
Now someone was dead because of him.
 

Author's Note

Thoughts?

Reviews

[Blue tailed kite]

I agree with Kanattas here, this poem has got potential to be extremely good, if you work on it and put some imagery. But, I liked it, it addresses some of the issues that many people see but dont discuss. It is a very sad poem. People should really be responsible while driving.

[the_stoic]

subtle and simple !

[Jason Shadows]

Life What Is It? Can You Explain Death's Cause To Happen When Was Not To?
The Boy If Maybe Was A Little Off The Side. Maybe Just Maybe The Car Would Have Pasted By. But We All Cant Cheat Death At His Ruthless Game.

Very Good I Like This One. What A Sad End It Is To Come For Such An Innocent Boy That Had Done Nothing Wrong. You See Death Does Not Care For Anything.

[SimplyDisastrous]

It has potential, I'll give you that. But it just seems as if it's missing something.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

powerful and sad .. it is well written makes me sick to think of these things that really happen.. you did a wonderful job with this poem.

Chloe

[James Johnson]

very powerful :) great poem.

[Daniel Gardner]

Great poem i do think you should take out one of the "Poor" words. Also I would like to see a point of view in the poem. Maybe a stanza of the boys thoughts then another of the drivers thoughts. But that is just me and I strongly feel that if you are happy with the way you wrote it im happy too.

[Ashley.M.E]

It's sad that things like this happen... I honestly think it would have been better as a story... It's no much of a poem it doesn't even sound like it...

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

this poem was good and i think it shows the consequences of drunk driving well. but i don't much like the bluntness of how you said the little boy died. you could have put a little more imagery into this, and evoked more emotion than you have. just a bit more detail would have been good