2.

2.

A Chapter by Eddie Davis
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Princesses Avalynn and Kyara argue over the fate of their father's kingdom.

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2.

 

She stood there majestically on the steps of the ancient temple of Yesh; the highest location in Trilyum, serenely smoking the fashionable Darx cigarettes while her maids nervously stared southward.

“I don’t see anything, Princess,” one of the elven maids told Princess Avalynn for perhaps the fourth time in two hours.   

The beautiful princess smiled and exhaled a long plume of smoke, “Never-the-less, they are out there and we will hear from them soon.”

The maids shot glances to one-another; all of them very uneasy about Her Majesty’s mood.    Three months had passed since the mysterious crow had spoken to Princess Kyara and yet they had heard nothing from the High King.

He had not acknowledged the death of Prince Bródúil or tried to explain it away on others.    No survivor had returned from the Prince’s troop, but that was nothing unusual, for none had returned from the earlier troops sent to fight the Yehsaelie at the High King’s demand.

But in Trilyum, the ‘oracle of the speaking crow’ (as the common folk called the event) had sent the city as well as the whole kingdom into preparation for an invasion by Reddric.   

Princess Kyara had urged everyone to prepare for the worst and most had listened to her.     Many of the women and children had fled northward, willing to risk encounters with the clansmen of the highlands rather than the feared atrocities by Reddric’s men.

Everyone knew what the High King (and especially the Archbishop that counseled him) thought of elves.

But while Kyara feverishly trained with the sword and made preparations to resist the suspected invasion, Princess Avalynn almost seemed to welcome it, or at least was peacefully resigned to the finality of it.

She had given away much of her possessions and had packed up all of her wardrobe into travelling chests, which would be completely impractical to take with her into the highlands as a refugee.

But the lovely princess never spoke of her plans.    Instead she began wearing dresses that were fashionable in the royal court of the High King.    Much to the surprise of her maids and disgust of her younger sister she had suddenly taken up smoking Darx cigarettes.

They were made of the paper thin white bark of the miniature Darx trees, which shed them year round.    Shredded pieces of bark were packed inside a tube of the bark of the tree and one end was lit, in the same manner as the tobacco cigars of the pirates of the tropical southlands.  

The plant gave off a pleasant smelling smoke similar to coffee and was a mild stimulant.    Since the alleged miraculous giving of the Darx trees to St. Catherine’s nuns by God in answer to a prayer by the saint for something to fund the struggling convent,  consumption of the cigarettes were unofficially a delicacy of the royal and noble women in the human palaces of kings, earls, barons and dukes in Albyia.

The men favored pipes of tobacco but the church sanctified the consumption of Darx by the women since much of the revenue generated by the nuns of St. Catherine’s convent (where the trees grew exclusively and the cigarettes were made) went into the coffers of the Church of Yesh in Albyia.

Avalynn and Kyara’s royal father had strongly condemned the use of the drug and had outlawed anyone (human or elven) in Baylcothrom from using it.  Yet as soon as the eldest princess had heard the words of the crow about the fate of her half-brother, she had defied the royal decree and began smoking Darx.   No one knew by what means she acquired the expensive cigarettes.

Her actions had greatly worried the people of the city and everyone whispered that perhaps Avalynn had secretly ‘made an arrangement’ with Reddric and was prepared to flee when his men invaded.

And it appeared now that the lady that was considered the most beautiful woman in the Kingdom (and probably Albyia) was expecting an important visitor very soon.

As the royal maids waited with their mistress, a rider on a horse arrived at the base of the temple stairs and dismounted.   Up the stairs the plate armored horseman climbed, with a determined pace.

Those standing at the top of the stairs immediately knew who it was.

Princess Kyara had arrived.

Up and up she climbed, and the furious look on her face chilled the blood of the women waiting at the top.   The maids unconsciously stepped behind Avalynn as Kyara neared.    The blonde princess stood her ground, her chin held high, casually smoking, though her trembling hands betrayed her true emotion.

Kyara looked around, glanced momentarily at the maids and then for a long, hanging moment, at her sister.    She slowly lowered her cloak’s hood, revealing hair that had been cut extremely short several days ago, in the style that many male soldiers wore.

“On the watch for someone, Ava?”   She asked her sister with more than a bit of sarcasm evident.

“Have you stormed up here to check up on me, Kyara?”

“Is there a reason for me to check up on you?”

Avalynn sighed in disgust, turning her back on her sister, “More childish head games.”

Suddenly Kyara’s hand shot out, slapping the Darx cigarette out from between her sister’s lips with such force that it was sent twirling down the stairs of the temple.

“Kyara!  How dare you!”   Avalynn screamed, trying to sound incensed though she was as pale as a sheet.

The redheaded princess pushed her finger right under her sister’s nose, “You stand up here dressed like one of the High King’s w****s, smoking a vile cigarette with no regard of honoring the laws that our father put in effect or how ridiculous and cheap it makes you look, yet you ask me 'how dare you'?   Yesh have mercy, Ava!   How could you betray your people to save your neck?”

Avalynn shrank back, more pale than ever, “What are you talking about?”

Kyara shook her head while sighing, “You’re waiting for a message from Reddric, Ava.    Instructions on fleeing with all of your beautiful dresses.     You stupid, vain girl!    Do you really think he wants you as a mistress?    Don’t you know how he hates elves?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  Avalynn replied in a voice close to hysterics, “Reddric doesn’t hate elves, Kyara!”

Kyara gave her an incredulous look, “You surely aren’t that stupid, Ava!   Look around you!   How many elves remain in Baylcothrom?   Where are all the elven men, Ava?”

“Reddric requested father's help!   He needs elves as badly as he needs humans and he had no hesitation to ask for our assistance!   He knew our army was made up mostly of elves!   If he hated them, then why-“

“Ava!    Open your eyes!   It was a scheme to have them killed!   All under the pretense of assisting in his ‘war’ with the Yehsaelie!   And aren’t the Yehsaelie a fae race, like elves?    Surely you see this!   Our father died in this scheme, Ava, now our brother as well!   Thousands of elven and human men died with them!”

“We don’t know that for sure, Kyara!”   Avalynn was screaming wildly, desperate to defend her beliefs as they crumbled before her under her sister’s attack.    “None of them have returned, Kyara!   Maybe they’re not dead at all!   Or maybe at least the troop that Bródúil led could still be alive!    That damned crow could have been sent by the enemy to trick us!    I don’t think the High King is against us!”

Kyara gave her sister a look as if watching her die pitifully before her eyes, “Then why are your bags packed to leave, Ava, if everything is okay?   Why are you standing up here on the highest part of the city, looking anxiously around?    You know what is coming.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about!”   The blonde princess exclaimed, tears streaming down her face.

Kyara just closed her eyes and sighed again, “The reason that I came here, Ava, is to tell you that your message arrived.”

“What?!”  

“You expected Reddric to send a delegation to you.   Perhaps in a sense he did that.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Kyara?!  Speak plainly!”

“Follow me,” She told her sister, and without another word, began descending the stairs.     Avalynn paused for a moment, and then hurried after her, with the shocked maids trailing behind them.

Halfway down the stairs, Kyara brought her fingers to her lips and gave a shrill whistle.    A moment later a small group of people riding on mules slowly came forth from around the side of an adjacent building.   They stopped at the bottom of the tall temple stairway to await the princesses’ descent.

Avalynn paused in her descent, squinting to see who they were.

"Don't worry, Ava, they certainly can't hurt you; though I am sure you are probably hurting them by your faithfulness to Reddric.   Come down and meet the delegation that he sent to you."

For a moment the blonde princess hesitated, clearly fearful of what awaited her below.   But she knew fiery Kyara would force the issue, so summoning up what remained of her regality, she hurried the rest of the way.

Five figures sat on their mounts, all of them slumped over in their saddles with their hoods positioned to cloak their faces.    Avalynn had a crazy desire to simply lift up her skirts and run as far away as she could from the mysterious riders.     For there was the air of doom, defeat and death about them, as if they were the incarnations of every dark thing that she had ever feared.  

The panic passed in a heartbeat and she took a deep breath as Kyara gestured to them and as if on cue, all five figures reached up and slowly, almost mournfully, lowered their hoods.

As soon as their identities were revealed, shrieks and gasps went up from the lips of Avalynn's maids.   The eldest princess simply forgot to breathe for a moment as she stared at them.

Four of them were covered with scars and bruises that revealed savage torture.     Their ears had been cut off and had it not been for her sister telling her who they were, she would not have recognized them.

They were four of the eldest sons of the elven nobles in her father's kingdom.     She had watched each of them ride off with the various detachments of troops that had been sent at High King Reddric's demand.     None of them had been seen since they departed, and now they all appeared, mangled and abused, apparently sent back together.

Avalynn swayed slightly, feeling as if she might faint.    But her eyes fell on the fifth rider and immediately her mind cleared.

It was Luke Penrook!   He sat on the fifth mule, unharmed and as handsome as ever.   But his proud shoulders were slumped and his gaze was lowered.

"Luke!   Thank Yesh!"   Avalynn exclaimed and the young elven nobleman's head lifted slightly as he heard his name.    A crack of a grim smile momentarily touched his lips, but no spark of life was evident in his eyes.    He stared at her with the numb expression of someone who has lost all will to live.

"Luke!    It's Avalynn!   What has happened to you?   We've heard no word from-"

"I have a message from High King Reddric,” He interrupted her as if her words were the babbling of a silly child.

"What?   Well... okay,"   Avalynn replied, looking over to her sister, who glared at her with something not far removed from hate.

Luke closed his eyes and took a deep ragged breath, "His Royal Majesty, High King Reddric VII gave these words to me through his captain, Sir Lepp, and commanded that I quote them verbatim to you.    Here is what I was instructed to say to you:    'Princess Avalynn, The High King is very discouraged at the failure of the men of Baylcothrom to serve me valiantly.   I have seen the weakness of the elven blood of your foot soldiers and horsemen and they have not turned the tide in our desperate conflict with the fiendish Yehsaelie.    Your father and now -- regrettably- your brother, have died leading their men into ambushes of the enemy.'

'Somehow these five cowards before you escaped noble death in battle and were found, uninjured, fleeing from the help of their fellows.    Obviously they are in league with the Yehsaelie.'

'Four of them were interrogated to determine their alliance with our enemies, but they maintained their innocence.    I have delivered them to you so that your people may determine their punishment for their cowardice.'

'It is my determination that Luke Penrook, the eldest son of Duke Penrook, was in contact with the Yehsaelie and assisted in helping arrange the ambush that took your father's life half a year ago.    I have administered a very specific and terrible punishment on him and spared his life so that he might be sent back as a living reminder of the fate of those who fail to keep their oath of fidelity to their sovereign lord.'

'His father's title and lands are taken from him and shall return to me.   As it is apparent that the nobility of Baylcothrom is allied with the Yehsaelie and since the laws of Baylcothrom do not allow for daughters or sisters of a king to inherit the throne, I have decided to take control of this kingdom as a protectorate until such time as I can decide who is worthy of the title of king.'

'As your father and brother both were loyal vassals despite their elven blood, and since the Diet of Aeropolis decreed last month that those of half-elven blood possess half of a soul and are allowed in the Church of Yesh as long as they submit to the church's teaching -- I extend grace and favor to you, Princess Avalynn and to your sister Princess Kyara.'

'As you are both only half-elven; your mother being the lovely nymph Lady Cryaryn, it is my desire that you join me at my court.   You both shall be installed as Ladies of the Queen's Bedchamber, and I shall provide for your needs until you can find husbands.'

'As I have written to you, Princess Avalynn, regarding this matter in the past, I know it is acceptable to you.   I trust that you will convince your sister of the logic of this situation.'

'You are instructed to journey as soon as possible to Eastwatch in St. Wemricshire, to the Arcane Train station in that city.    There you will meet a royal escort that awaits you and that will travel with you on the train to my palace in Caelyinshire.'

'I am sending these men ahead with this message and the visual warning of the fruits of betrayal.    My forces will reach Trilyum in less than a week.   Do not believe the witchery of the enemy.   Talking crows that tell lies of the Yehsaelie are treachery against the true words of your Lord and King.    I extend an offer of hope and a future to you, Princess Avalynn, and to your sister as well.    Do not think it will be extended indefinitely.   Act at once and all will be well.  I shall wait for you.'   

Luke swallowed, relieved to have the burden of the message lifted, "That is the message that I was told to give to you, Princess."

 Avalynn stood still, her lip quivering with conflicting emotion staring at the young knight.    Luke slumped in the saddle and glanced over to Kyara, “I have done my duty, Princess, I want to return to my father’s house.”

“Your father, brother and cousins are dead!”   Avalynn blurted out, “Because of your treachery!”

Luke shook his head wearily, “No, Princess; I nor any of our men betrayed your father.    We were all led into ambushes.     My group was guided by Reddric’s men into a steep valley and rocks and arrows were shot at us.    We tried to ride out of the pass, but the king’s pike-men blocked the way.    Three of us managed to crash through and hoped to escape to tell of the tale.    But our horses were injured and we were all captured.    I was forced to watch as some of Reddric’s men disemboweled Tann Broys and Lilid Maetsyn - simply because they were elves trying to escape the ambush!”

“Well you seemed to survive unharmed!”   Avalynn sneered.

“They tortured a handful of us in one of the King’s castle’s dungeon.    Of course Reddric wasn’t there in person so he could say he had no knowledge of it, but it was by his command.”

“You look well enough now!”  Avalynn retorted, “Unlike your pitiful companions!”

Luke’s eyes diverted downward, “That was part of Reddric’s sadistic scheme.    He was told that I was one of the popular young elven knights in your father’s court, so after he spent four months torturing me for information, he decided on a horrible punishment.”

“What punishment?   Forcing you to ride home on a mule?”

Luke shook his head, unable to look at the eldest princess, “Instead of mutilating my facial features like they did these others, he decided a more fitting fate would be to castrate the dashing knight.     After they let me suffer for a few days, they gave me an alchemist’s potion that they said would make me appear to be fit and whole for a full year, just so I would be more humiliated.   After that I will take on the bloated shape of a eunuch.”   

“ ‘All the better to remember how His Majesty, emasculated your king and his kingdom,’ one of the guards told me after they’d done it, ‘All those fine-looking, pointy-eared elven b*****s will be all hot when they see you return and will be thinking that you’ll resume bedding them, but won’t they be horrified when they see that you ain’t got the parts anymore!’ ”

Avalynn’s frown softened somewhat, but was replaced by a hint of disgust at the thought of his fate.    Her haughty air angered him.

“There is a small silver chest in my saddle bag.    In it you’ll find proof of what I said.    They sent it with me with orders to deliver it to you.”

Avalynn looked mortified, “How disgusting!  Why would they want me to have that?”

Luke just looked down at his hands in shame.

“Show some compassion, Ava!”  Kyara snapped, “Don’t you see how ruthless they are?    They’re animals.”

“Reddric might not even know they did it!   His men could have done this on their own and claimed it was under his orders!”

“His royal crest, pressed in wax, seals the chest, Princess.    I guess they took my… parts… to him to prove they’d castrated me.    It was him who sent them to you.”

“Well I don’t want them!”  

Kyara growled at the insolence and stupidity of her older sister.    She had been quite fond of Luke when he’d visited their father’s court, yet now he wasn’t worthy of Avalynn’s attention and she seemed not to mind humiliating him more.

Kyara reached over and touched Luke’s hand, “Go home, Luke.   Your father’s manor is deserted.   The last of the servants left two days ago.    But if that is where you want to go, then go with our leave.”

“I didn’t say he could go!”   Avalynn snapped, but the terrible look that her sister gave her quickly shut her up.

As Luke turned and led his mule away, he spoke to them without looking back, “Similar fates await any elf that falls into Reddric’s hands, Princesses.     I heard a lot of talk about the two of you from the human guards.    They said that Reddric greatly desires both of you to be brought to him.   You can imagine why, but know this; your great beauty will not win you a position or security in Reddric’s court.    As soon as he tires of you, he won’t hesitate to have you killed.    Don’t trust him!”

“I intend to resist him!”   Kyara called back, but Luke didn’t even raise his head.

“Fruitless, Princess.    They are assembling two massive armies to march here.   One from the west and the other army coming up from the south.    They won’t leave any elves alive here.   I’m sure of that.    Fighting him is as foolish as trusting him.    He’s too powerful.   Flee while you can.”

“What about you?   What do you plan to do?”   Kyara called to the knight, but he didn’t respond and before she could ask the question again, Avalynn had angrily interrupted her.

 

“You are the one to blame for this stupid stunt!”  

“Stunt?!”   Kyara snapped back, “Are you so ignorant that you don’t realize what you’ve just seen, Ava?    Your wonderful High King has been killing off all the men of our kingdom for half a year in a series of ambushes and he’s even killed our father and brother!    Now he has shown us what he really thinks of elves and just how ruthless and demonic he really is!    Reddric’s soldiers led Luke and these poor men up to the border of Baylcothrom and sent them here to us.     The meaning is quite clear to me, Ava!   But you have apparently corresponded with Reddric in secret!   Love letters, perhaps?”

Avalynn reared back to slap her younger sister, but Kyara roughly grabbed her wrist.

“Let go of me, Kyara!”

“You are responsible for what will happen to Baylcothrom!   Women raped and children murdered!    As you go running off to meet the devil himself!”    As she spoke, she squeezed her sister’s wrist so tightly that it forced Avalynn to her knees in pain.

“You’re hurting me, Kyara!”

“I ought to run a sword through your heart!   You selfish, worthless w***e!    So you want to run to Reddric?   Fine!    Take your wardrobe and get out!”   She flicked her arm and released her sister’s wrist, sending the blonde princess tumbling into the pavement in front of the four remaining noblemen.

Kyara turned to Avalynn’s stunned ladies in waiting, “You take these four men and care for them!”

“But what about Princess-“  One of the maids started to say.

“I will take care of ‘Princess’ Avalynn.”  Kyara said with such terrible bile in her voice that the maids only bowed quickly to her and taking the reins of the mutilated noblemen’s mules, hurriedly led them back toward the palace.

Avalynn was weeping hysterically, still crumpled on the ground where Kyara had flung her.

 

Kyara stood over her, staring at her in disgust for a few moments before nudging her with her foot, “Alright, Ava, that’s enough, get up.”

The princess only sobbed more intensely.    Kyara sighed in annoyance and knelt down next to her.

“There is no need for the act, Ava; everyone is gone.”

“Why do you hate me so?”   The blonde princess said from somewhere within the arms covering her face.

“I hate what you’ve become, Ava.   I hate your naivety and that a human king who killed most of your family has so beguiled you that you would become his pawn.”

“What choice do we have, Kyara?   Don’t you think he’ll overrun us when he decides that he wants to?    We haven’t a chance - you heard Luke say that!”

“So whoring up to him is a solution?”

“I’m no-one’s w***e, Kyara!    I’m trying to appease him in hopes that he’ll go easy on Baylcothrom!”

“Oh, so now you admit that he is against us?”

“I don’t know, Kyara!   I find it hard to believe that a civilized king such as Reddric, who has a court that is the envy of the whole world, would act so ruthlessly!   His men mutilated Luke and those men, Kyara!   I’ll bet that he didn’t even know!  Royal seals can be forged!    You’ll see - I’ll ask him when we arrive in his court.”

Kyara laughed, “You’re a fool, Ava.   I’m not going to Caelyinshire with you.”

Avalynn looked up frightened, “You have to come with me, Kyara!   It’s hopeless here, and if you aren’t with me when I arrive in Caelyinshire, he’ll put you to death when he captures you.”

Kyara shrugged, “It’s a chance I’m willing to take.   I’m not going into the jaws of that lion.   If you have any sense left in you; you’ll not either.”

“You really think you can pull together an army that can stop his forces?    Who is foolish, Kyara?”

“I owe it to our father and brother to at least try.”

“But you’ll be killed… or worse.”   Avalynn sat up, desperate to persuade her younger sister of her folly.

“It’s no different than what will happen to you in Reddric’s hands.   At best, you might spend the rest of his reign as one of the famed s***s of his ‘royal court’.”

“You don’t give me any credit for persuasion.” 

“I don’t think your good looks will change his mind.   He doesn’t let women manipulate him, Ava.   Look what he did to his own mother!   If she hadn’t fled to St. Catherine’s, he would have killed her.”

“She was against him, Kyara.”

“It’s not a chance I want to take, Ava.    I intend to go down fighting.”

“What will you do when Reddric’s men capture you?    They’ll recognize you.”

“Maybe not - with short hair and in armor I can pass off as a boy.”

Avalynn tilted her head back and laughed at her sister’s comment, which only angered Kyara.

“Why are you laughing, Ava!”

Her sister reached out and touched her sister’s chest, “Kyara, you are a nymph!    You’ve inherited our mother’s bosom, just like I have, but I wasn’t half as big as you are when I was your age!    I don’t think armor will conceal your sex.     Anyone who looks at you can tell you are a woman!    You’re a fool to think you can conceal it for long.”

Kyara’s face flushed red and she unconsciously crossed her arms across her bosom.     It was her most vulnerable area and Avalynn had scored a direct hit on her greatest worry.   

“No man is going to use me like a common prostitute, Ava!   I’m not going to spend my life as a human’s mistress!”

“So you’d rather be captured by Reddric’s soldiers and be kept as a soldier’s camp w***e?”

“I’ll die before that ever happens, Ava!”

“It is better to live and have time to think of a solution.”

“You’ll not live long in the High King’s Court, Ava!    You won’t have time to come up with a solution, and you lack any political clout to set it into motion even if you did!”

“Better that than cramming your breasts into tight armor and leading a group of old men, misfits and eunuch knights against overwhelming odds.”

Kyara stood up, her eyes glaring, “Very well, sister; I have tried reasoning with you and you are too stupid to see it.    I am done talking to you.”

Avalynn got to her feet, “You aren’t in charge here, little sister!”

“Oh?”   Kyara brought her fingers to her lips and gave two sharp whistles.     Out of the neighboring building quickly came a detachment of men (mostly young teenaged boys and elderly men) led by Shayne.

“I’m sorry, Avalynn, I really am, but your mindset is too dangerous for me to trust you and the stakes are too high.”

“What are you talking about, Kyara?”  The blonde princess looked around in alarm as the detachment surrounded her, “What is this, Shayne?”

The older man diverted his eyes from her, but held his position.

“Princess Avalynn has expressed her support for the High King and has had prior communications with him.     As Reddric is responsible for the death of thousands of our people, I am removing Avalynn from her unofficial position as regent and imposing banishment upon her.”

“Kyara!   You wouldn’t dare!”

“Shayne, your men are to escort Princes Avalynn to the arcane train station in Eastwatch, along with her wardrobe and her baggage.     You are to leave her there and return.   If she tries to return into Baylcothrom she will be considered a traitor and a spy of the High King and will be put to death.”

Avalynn heard her sister’s words in stunned disbelief.   Her betrayed expression broke Kyara’s heart and she almost changed her mind.   But when her sister suddenly slapped her, knocking her backwards, her resolve returned.

“Take her out of my sight!”   She screamed at Shayne, and then turning to her sister, continued, “You’ve brought this upon yourself, Ava!    May Yesh have mercy on your poor stupid soul!”

“Kyara!   For God’s sake!   I’m your sister!”  She screamed as the men restrained her while Kyara turned and hurriedly walked away, “Kyara!   Kyara!   Damn you to hell!”

The redheaded princess hurried across the empty street and rushed down an alley between two buildings.  She managed to make it out of view of her sister being led away before bursting into tears. 

“Yesh…mother…father…Ava…forgive me!”  She cried in anguish, terrified at the possibility that she had just made a terrible mistake.

Trembling helplessly with emotion, she collapsed to the ground and lost herself in hysterical sobbing.



© 2018 Eddie Davis


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I'm sorry it has taken me so long to "review" this chapter. I've been keeping up with/reading each chapter you post, but have only just made a little time to "proofread."
I have been/am thoroughly enjoying the story so far.

"She stood there majestically on the steps of the ancient temple of Yesh; the highest location in Trilyum, serenely smoking the fashionable Darx cigarettes while her maids nervously stared southward." This first sentence is a run-on.
"...Princess,” One of the elven maids told..." Here, "One" does not need to be capitalized.
"They were made of the paper thin white bark of the miniature Darx trees, which shed them year round." This would probably benefit from a little rewording. Especially in regards to clarifying that "them" refers to the pieces of bark.
"Since the alleged miraculous giving of the Darx trees to St. Catherine’s nuns by God in answer to a prayer by the saint for something to fund the struggling convent, consumption of the cigarettes were unofficially a delicacy of the royal and noble women in the human palaces of kings, earls, barons and dukes in Albyia." This is a run-on.
"...until which time as I can decide..." I think it should be "such" instead of "which." ?
"Avalynn stood still, her lip quivering with conflicting emotion and simply stared at the young knight." This sentence could use a little rewording at the end.
"...like they did these others that he decided to send back, he decided..." Perhaps leave out the "that he decided to send back"?
"...we all were captured." Maybe, instead, "we were all captured."
"But you apparently have corresponded with..." Instead, "But you have apparently..." or "But apparently you have..."
"It’s no different that what will happen to you..." I believe you wanted "than" instead of "that."

Posted 5 Years Ago


Eddie Davis

5 Years Ago

Thanks, Elina, I appreciate your time and I'm glad you are enjoying the story.

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Added on July 2, 2018
Last Updated on August 1, 2018
Tags: Albyia, Synomenia, fantasy, elf, magic


Author

Eddie Davis
Eddie Davis

Springfield, MO



About
I'm a fantasy and science-fiction writer that enjoys sharing my tales with everyone. Three trilogies are offered here, all taking place in the same fantasy world of Synomenia. Other books and stor.. more..

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A Chapter by Eddie Davis


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A Chapter by Eddie Davis