Inferiority Complex

I sleep on the kitchen floor when I'm alone.

Twenty-six-year-old virgin,

I moved to Sweden simply for the lack of sunlight.

Summer evenings are hardest--

I spend them behind blackout curtains,

tucked under used-to-be-white, stained flannel sheets.

In grade school they called me Hobbit.

Fat-A*s-Farrah some years later. 

My parents named me after a cute dead actress. 

Cute? No

Dead? 

It isn't that I don't try,

Only, how can I fix these size 36 hips?

This 25 inch waist? I swear I was born with it. 

I'd give anything to refigure my upturned nose,

thin my full-bodied brown hair,

or just lengthen the 5'5" stature I've been cursed with. 

I love the winter months.

I can walk freely down the streets in Stockholm;

nobody notices.

I avoid the busy ones though,

the ones that are always well lit.

But sometimes I can't

and when I can't, it happens--

I'll catch a glimpse--

someone's looking,

somebody's seen.

The swollen-lipped whistle I dread,

the sharp sound that will inevitably trigger my dog-like cower.

Because I am not stupid.

I know what he is thinking.

        ugly b***h!

No, I am not stupid.

That is not my problem. 

Reviews

[Vincent]

That's a truly gutwrenching read, powerful feelings are displayed rawly. It is also a brilliant condemnation of a society where looks is what matter the most and also of its men who will judge and see other people as lower human beings. Really good write

[Sami Khalil]

A good confessional. Powerful

[Sara Rincon]

Beautiful and heartbreaking. I love your imagery here. Really really good.

[Leah Dawn]

This is so beautifully written . . . i am astounded.

You tell an amazing story here. So powerful, true ment, some parts perfectly raw.
Good write!

I really liked this poem. It's emotionally driven, and has a nice setting, something the reader can really attach to, even if it is kind of bleak. You ground the reader with images that are indisputable, which makes it enjoyable. One of my favorite poems I've read so far on Writers Cafe. It is simple but to the point, and elegantly portrayed. Thanks for sharing your poem.

[Tate Morgan]

Such a sad tale of woe.And so sad this person hasnt the friends to uplift the spirit that is in hiding.But I would say Mother therasa was only about 4ft 11 and she was adored for her spirit