Honey and milk bath

... seaglass breath,

lullabyes and bubbles.

I write hallelujah on my skin,
where your lips used to murmur my name.

one by one, mermaids
fall from my eyes--
    they taste of salt.

I slip underwater to listen--
                         to check
that my heart still beats.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

amazing write...

"mermaids fall from my eyes"

really love that line.. checking that my heart still beats...

alone in a bath of bubbles, reminiscing...of a love that used to be...and a wondering by the speaker. "am i still alive?"

good stuff here.

jacob

[Emily B]

hallelujah, oh how i need this

[~Beautiful Dreamer~]

Wow this is amazing, good job

[bob, small b. aka invs]

remind me not to let read requests build up so that i have to review half dozen of your poems at once. it's too much.

this is beautiful, amazing stuff.

[Clockwork]

I missed this one before, but I'm glad I came back to give it a look. The second stanza is amazing, and I think its my favorite overall. Also, I liked the way you described tears without mentioning that's what they were. I've never though of a tear as a mermaid until I read you, but I think that is beautiful and fitting.

[eglantine]

glad that image worked! Wasn't sure at first

[quinfinn]

none of this is nonsense, it is pure, unadulterated metaphorical magnificence....well penned!

[eglantine]

Thank you Quin!

[h d e rushin]

mermaid is such a fabled noun, with the upper body of a beautiful woman and the tail of a fish,
that when introduced poetically suggest a festive innocence. Using them as taste and tears is
an exciting metaphor...and masterfully done.

you write such tender poetry.
dana

[eglantine]

Thank you, mermaids are dear to me

[Simon Welsh]

I love it. Very tender and elegant.

[eglantine]

merci

[beautiful dreamer]

beautiful. i love your imagery

[eglantine]

danke!

[beautiful dreamer]

welcome

[Poussiere D'Ange]

one by one, mermaids
fall from my eyes-
they taste of salt.
you truly are a mermaid eglantine, one who writes mesmerizing pieces. The imagery in this one was beautiful, and I loved it:):):D.

[eglantine]

:) yes, I am a mermaid