Sangria stars

Sangria stars

A Poem by eglantine

I sit here,

            cat on my lap,

            an evergreen forest in my lungs

                                    and silver fish in my heart.

 

Your blue eyes are beneath these typewriter keys,

                                    behind every sheet of paper.

 

“I will always find you,” you whispered as our stars ripped apart.

 

 

And you did,

 

                        on a May night warm with sangria and bonfire:

                                    we made eye contact

                                    and our souls crashed

 

                                    into each other

 

                                    like wave against wave,

 

                                    starlight against starlight.

© 2015 eglantine


Author's Note

eglantine
Title suggestions? I'm stuck...

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G!o
This is beautiful. Is there a better word to say that? The imagery is a 5/5. When i began reading it, i was like (an eyebrow rose) but the second line, grabbed me by the throat and i was gasping for more and more of what's coming next. I love every sentence and the perfection in it.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

as for the title, well, you have your pick of symbols/metaphors you can use.

typewriter
Stars
Eyes
Waves

I think those are the main ones you can play with to create a title.

maybe, "Sangria Stars"

(Sangre in spanish translates to "blood" - hence what Sangria is supposed to resemble).

and given the somber tone, perhaps it is fitting.

Plus, it just sounds cool.



Posted 5 Years Ago


eglantine

5 Years Ago

oooo I think I'll do that. Sangria Stars does sound lovely. Thank you!
Eglantine is a very talented young poet, that all young writers should look at, as a example of accomplished writing. This all works, the line structure, the use of italics, the way the narrative is based on a initial observation, and most of all the excellent creative imagery, full of surprises yet finely observed. Read this !

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

eglantine

5 Years Ago

Aw, thanks! I always appreciate your reviews.
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...
Title, hmmm...dunno but the image here is becoming :) You're a beautiful writer

Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on March 4, 2015
Last Updated on March 6, 2015

Author

eglantine
eglantine

Somewhere Someplace



About
I graduated with my B.A. in English (emphasis creative writing) My ultimate goal is to be the U.S. Poet Laureate and to be a college professor of poetry. I'm a wildflower with a poetic soul. I'm als.. more..

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