Lost On The Path To Nowhere

On the outside I put on a smile,

A smile for everyone else to see.

I want everyone to think

I am put together, happy, and know who I am.

Inside I am falling apart. 

I know what is wrong.

I know I am nowhere close to happy.

 

I have no idea of who I am.

I know who I used to be, before I fell apart. 

I know what I should be.

I know what I want to be. 

I am not any of those.

I am just a lost soul. 

Lost on the path to nowhere.

I have a single person to turn to,

but I do not know how.

 

Inside, I am constantly crying.

I cry. 

I ache. 

There is little happiness,

And almost nothing brings any.

I used to be strong, happy, loving, 

Sure of who I was.

Sure of what I wanted. 

I am not what I once was.

I am weak, lonely, and fearful. 

I put on this mask of happiness 

For everyone to see,

And it works. 

They think I am okay. 

They think I am happy.

 

I don't want to bother or worry them. 

So I get up in the morning, 

Sorrow for just a moment,

Then put my mask on, 

And smile a fake smile.

If you look closely,

you can see,

there is no light left in my eyes,

No ray of sunshine,

To share with others.

This is me, 

But only for now. 

I have to change. 

I can not live like this, because this not living.

Author's Note

When I wrote this I wasn't writing it for it to be a poem, or for anyone else to see. I wrote it because these are my feelings. This is my life right now and I wanted to write it down and organize my thoughts. You can see my original, which isn't as much of a poem as this one because of the formatting. I have arranged this version to flow better, and to make certain parts stand out to readers. Reviews are always welcome!

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Dear Elizabeth,
This will probably sound weird------ what is right,
more chit-chat, or the truth ?
-----In your mind you create the world-----Buddha.
Remembering that---you create your world, turn to others
the people that you would like to see happy
Make an effort to understand those people, make them happy,
even if it is only a smile. Sometimes a smile can change the
world, it has for many people.

When you have made others happy, take a look at you ------
You have created a new world, a world of your making and
you will be in love, in love with your world.

Thanks,
---- Eagle Cruagh

[J Todd Underhill]

I encourage you to keep working at it. Writing is a craft like any other, practice practice practice! You start using the muscles needed and you learn more and more, and you will be good at it!

[Elizabeth Carter]

Thank you for the advice!

[Patrick Henry]

I'm with Miranda!! I love it and it was challenging to not want to "save you" but you wrote it very well, and THAT is awesome!! I saw you earlier, a little earlier, and was waiting to see upload something. Sometimes, I see that some have nothing on their page as poems or stories and I block them, thinking they are here to take something away with them under the "radar". : ) I'm glad that I did not do that here, and I'm almost embarrassed to say that I do, but you are a perfect reason why NOT to!! Beautiful Elizabeth Carter. xoxo -Mark

[Elizabeth Carter]

Thank you so much!! I'm glad you didn't block me too haha:) although, in not entirely sure what you mean by wanting to save me.

[Patrick Henry]

Just breaking down through all the waves of emotions, and I know all too well where they COULD lead or where they HAVE led. I write with an honest tone that does not give the impression of "making up a story". You speak carefully, but from the heart.... it seems. I LOVE it and see my OWN memories. thoughts, and emotions inside of what you shared with us. That's all. In case you cold not tell.... I like the way you write. : ) xoxo -Mark

[Elizabeth Carter]

Gotcha. I definitely wrote this from the heart, and I am glad it shows. Thank you again:)

[Patrick Henry]

....sorry. I meant that "YOU" write with an honest tone that comes across as evident and true. Easy to relate to and enjoy as seeing and getting to witness where your strengths are and maybe in the future if you stay here on the site, how far you will have come and what you've learned or changed!! ....and thanks for not blocking me, either!! lol I write too much sometimes, maybe? xoxo -Mark

[Elizabeth Carter]

I don't think you write too much at all! I love that people take time to write long messages :)

[Patrick Henry]

How adorable, and curiously unaware, that you send me a read request on this poem!! lol I have read this poem about 8 times already..... It's how I find you because I don't have the luxury of being on your friend list. xoxo -Your Mark

[Elizabeth Carter]

I sent you the read request because I edited this poem.

[Elizabeth Carter]

And if you want to be on my friend list, just add me!:)

[Patrick Henry]

I might have to talk to Miranda then, to try and figure out what you changed. After some 8 times, what I DO notice is that I just enjoy the poem and don't look for the "puncts" or anything, anymore. What I did notice is that in some of the lines, you open with a feeling or thought you have, and then short little bursts of "slam poetry style" lines where there are small but very specific/perfect words written. By now, I just love your poem. Whoops!! lol xoxo -Mark

[Elizabeth Carter]

I didn't change much of the words, but the main thing I changed is that it is no longer in a big paragraph.

[Mir]

Honesty is the best way to touch readers, and this is what this did for me! I can relate to this so much! And even though it's not in the 'typical' poem structure, it's still a poem! And it was great! :) Thank you for sharing!

[Elizabeth Carter]

Thank you! I have never been a writer and really know nothing about it, but did want to share this.

[Mir]

I think you could actually be a really talented writer! I hope you'll write more because I'd love to read it!

[Elizabeth Carter]

Thank you so much! I'm sure I will continue putting more thoughts in word/ poetry form, so check my profile occasionally to see if I have done any more. :)

[Mir]

I definitley will! :)