Meter

Striving and writhing, this force is defining me
Tapping my feet to it fighting to keep with it
Over and over but just cannot scratch this itch
Wracking my brain to master this game
I'm trying to beat it but it won't be tamed
It's bigger than me, this enigma that be
Behind what you can't and all you can see
Sometimes your enemy, sometimes your friend
There while you live and still when you're dead
A totem of life & bringer of doom
Witness of joy & equally gloom
The beat is relentless this substance sublime
The rhythm of life. The ticking of time

Author's Note

I could not decide how to format this. I've read it so many times it reads how I want it to, but I'd be interested to know how it flows for new eyes.

Reviews

[.]

Very nice indeed!

It flows quite well, particularly towards the end when paired with rhyme. An interesting comparison as well; the meter of poetry with the rhythm of life.

Very well written. Nicely done.

[danielle.]

Thanks Doodley. I wrote the original of this a while ago, it has undergone quite a few edits over time.

[emmajoy]

The content is interesting, has musical intentions but in parts maybe you've tried to balance meter with what you want to 'say'. You could slightly re-arrange the form, doesn't have to be in x lines of near equal length. It's full of go, unique here and there, ' .. I'm trying to beat it but it won't be tamed ~ It's bigger than me, this enigma that be ..'

[danielle.]

Full of go! Good description
& that is how I wanted it to read. To begin with I didn't arrange it into lines. Thanks for your input :)

[Drowning In Reality]

I think you did a great job. It flows gracefully. Very nice.

[danielle.]

Thank you :)