Shameless Chapter Five

I don't sleep. I don't eat. I don't listen to anything Mr. Finnly says. Not that I could, anyway. His words are slurred together in a dull blur I can't make out over the screaming in my ears. My screaming. "Clarabelle! Clarabelle listen to me!" Is all I can make out. When i don't answer, my mouth dry from dropping and not closing, Mr. Finnly begins to drive. Probably, to the Hospital.

Not that I care. Why would I care?

Oh yeah. Because I need too.

I should be worried.

But I'm not.

No...I'm angry.

Why would he let her take me again? Why would he agree? Why does she even want me? I hate that woman. I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.

Mr. Finnly opens the car door, and I hear it shut. My eyes are glued into one spot, my mouth slightly ajar from shock. I don't think I'm going to snap out of this. And honestly, I don't want too. I don't want to remember. I don't want to relive it.

The next few minutes are a blur of doctors and nurses swarming around me, each of them trying to get me to respond. I don't answer. Not once...

Screaming.

The screams.

They are back.

I cower in the hospital bed, my toes curling under the sheets. My hands compulsively tug at the strings on the gown...

When did I get changed into a gown?

Why am i here again?

Oh, right.

I'm crazy.

Funny how they can label me crazy in a matter of minutes, just by me not answering a single word they say.

I don't sleep.
I don't want too.
The doctors don't know what else to do, but put me under.

I'm fighting it, thats all i know. I can hear myself shouting and someone just got slapped. A needle is pushing into my skin...i feel....light....i"m....trying....tooo....



"Mom! Mommy!" The wind blows through my hair pushing it in my eyes, but not enough to blind me from the sight of abandonment. I run through the wind, my feet numb against the pine needles under my feet. I'm about to reach her when the soldiers pin my arms behind my back, "Mom! Please, don't leave me here! Mom!" I stare into the eyes of the woman who once loved me, but now stands silently watching as I am stabbed over and over by soldiers. The wounds feel like nothing compared to the pain of betrayal I feel from my mother. The soldiers suddenly drop me, and walk over to my mother. As I curl up into a ball I hear the soldiers thank my mother. The last thing I see is my mother and the soldiers climbing into the hovercraft, leaving me here to die.



I sit up in the bed, skin sticky with sweat. My lips curl into a frown and turn into a stutter as I sob in memory of my mother's abandonment, and the ache I feel for her once loving touch.

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

Very dark & totally gripping.

[Belinda]

The dream confuses me.. I will HAVE to keep reading, although i agree with her. I wouodnt want to go back to her either.

[Emma Marie Taylor]

The dream sequence is supposed to be confusing, she is going to explain it in a later chapter:) Thanks so much though! please keep reading and reviewing!