Irrepressible Remorse

One of the most honest pieces I might ever write..

I have realized what my fear is.

It isn't death,

or drowning in the navy blue ocean, 

or the view from the 56th story of building, 

or falling in love with someone who doesn't love me, 

or loosing my best friend, 

or hospitals, 

or fire, 

or even small spaces. 

It is sitting on my white porch fifty years from now, 

or being at death's door, 

and feeling an overwhelming sense of regret. 

I fear not leaving a mark in this world,

and I fear that I will miss chances that would've changed my life,

the opportunities that would've left me with both good and bad memories, 

I fear that when I get old, and I sit and try and stroll down memory lane, 

and all there will be is the grief of my lost time on this earth. 

I fear that I will regret my choices. 

Regret of not going to the beach when the long haired boy 

and the perky blonde girl asked the day that school ended,

regret not trying harder my freshman year of high school, 

regret spending more time frowning than smiling, 

regret not eating that piece of cake,

regret spending so much time in my red and tan room,

regret not telling my family how much I loved them,

regret not having breakfast with my family, 

or going on their evening walks,

regret not trying every foreign food that I was offered, 

regret not planting daisies or learning new things.

I fear that I will look back and say.. "I should've done things differently."

I fear that I know my problem, but lack the courage to tell myself the truth, 

to change my destiny. 

Reviews

[TheLostMind]

In the end you will only regret the things you didn't do :).. You have hit home with this one. .
"I fear not leaving a mark in this world" - how interesting.. trying to leave behind a legacy when we leave. . Frankly, I am afraid of the same. .
"I fear that I will regret my choices. " - you shouldn't. You choose what you thought was right. . There should be lessons learnt from our choices. . But no regrets. .

I fear that I know my problem, but lack the courage to tell myself the truth,
to change my destiny. - Yes. We all know what is right but lack the courage to do what needs to be done. .

A really good write :)

[Rana]

Amazing; the thoughts in your poem as well as the flow and rhythm. When you list all kinds of common fears in the first para, one really begins to wonder and guess what your fear could be and reading on, one begins to see what you mean and your message is conveyed beautifully. It's an inspiring poem, urging us to live life and make the best of it while we still have the strength and ability. It was fun to read and full of positive vibes. Totally admire it!