Just Different, Y'know?

When you feel like everyone you know is sick to death of having to endure the heart on your sleeve that you just can't seem to cover up, ever.

I want to bake.
I want to lie under that burning sun today and bake,
Not suntan, but to let my skin turn red and blister,
I want my skin to blacken until I no long even
Look human, just a smoking and blackened shell
Where me and my humanity used to be.

I want that blackened,
Smoldering outline
To be a cleansing chrysalis,
That when the smoke is gone, and
The hulk of strange-shaped remains is sitting
Almost forgotten, that is when I want to stretch out
All my limbs, moving my neck from side-to-side,
That is when I when to break through that charred mess
And emerge as something new, not as a butterfly does,

Beautiful and delicate, but somehow more hardened,
In heart and in spirit, not to keep others away or to
Make myself someone who cares less, or less deeply,
But just hard enough to protect myself
Just a little bit better from a world
That too often loves nothing more
Than to rip the wings off butterflies.

Reviews

[Singular D]

I think that we are both going through life tasks that are making us harder, in a good way. I like to think that I'm letting go of suffering, of the self imposed suffering I put myself through. It's a good thing.

[Drifter]

Whoops, I accidentally erased our conversation, but not before I re-read it. I can't believe I just wrote this a month ago, it seems like an eternity has passed by.