I Thought I Saw A Colour

I thought I saw a colour flitting

Fluttering by my purple head

Something different from any

Colour I've ever seen before

With glossy, glassy blind eyes.

 

It moved away from me and I

Followed it through avenues

Swaying to and fro in a dance

Coordinated by fleeting feet

Wandering there, everywhere.

 

In every turn I made, the world

Forced my awakening eyes to

See just what kind of places

Could stand in front of me

Whenever, wherever I choose.

Reviews

[Barry S. Maltese]

What a great guide that color was to have awakened you to the world around you. I think the trick it used was so smart. Kind of like the trick a writer uses. They tell a story within a poem to get you to see something you might have missed without it.
Great job!

[Sara Henry Heistand]

There doesn't seem to be any distinct rhyme, but there's just enough of a hinting taste that really draws you into a piece such as this. Like your other poems, this seems to convey a deeper message beyond the initial impact. That, I love. To me, this speaks of the falsity of realism. A sort of boho view of going beyond the looking glass.

Things have more meaning than we grant them. People chase these fleeting thoughts incessantly, looking for answers to their questions that they cannot even fathom. Like religion. And the ending statement that occurred to me? We choose what we see.

This truly is great, if not phenomenal social commentary, without the social or the commentary. I'm very glad that you chose to write it in this funny, light style, rather than an editorial separated by lines and commas in all the right places. Very refreshing nowadays.

My only criticism is the separation of lines. It's probably just from copy and pasting, but it's a little disjointed, if you catch my meaning. Also, there's a typo in "coordinated." ;)

How I effing adore your poetry... I'm glad there are other contemporary poets (our age) who won't piss and moan (or won't blissfully shut their everlasting gob) about relationships and quip about shitting high school. Those types are few and far between, eh? ;)

(Oh, and I forgot to tell joo about "See the Constellation" on They Might Be Giants' Apollo 18 album... The introduction...does it sound familiar??? ;DDDD)