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I Used to Hate Being a Girl

I Used to Hate Being a Girl

A Poem by Erica Ross

I used to hate being a girl
because guys made being a man seem attractive.
Women beg to be with them,
But I’ve never seen a man genuinely beg to be with a woman �"
A Beautiful woman at that,
Beautiful inside and out.
Men are allowed to treat women any way that they want and still receive unconditional love.
I wanted that.
I wanted to be a man.
I wanted to be able to treat a woman badly
but still wake up to her in the morning and have my way with her body �"
To receive home cooked meals and sweet kisses that linger on my lips
Just to leave and do the same thing with the next woman �"
I wanted to be greedy.
I remember my mama and grandmama saying “baby, leave them men where they at.
Cause men only want us for sex and nothing else
But no matter how much you f**k him you can never get him to truly love you.”
Not my father or my grandfather,
But how badly did I want to be them �"
To see them strut around happily without a care in the world,
To receive back scratches and plates of soul food just because they were providers.
I felt like I should have that luxury too.
I knew I couldn’t get it from them
So I’d get it from the ones they were doing it to.
But I’m growing to know just how great it is to be a woman
That even when we hurt we are still capable of unconditional love
That we can give and never run out of love
Just out of f***s
I appreciate my curves and my hips
My vulnerability and ability to genuinely care
I appreciate the bonds I have formed with other women
And I hope to be forgiven by the ones that I’ve hurt
because I became the very thing that I actually hated.

© 2018 Erica Ross


Author's Note

Erica Ross
Be honest.

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Added on May 2, 2018
Last Updated on June 6, 2018
Tags: Lgbt, women, men, love, gender, relationships

Author

Erica Ross
Erica Ross

memphis, TN



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