Wind Chimes

Wind Chimes

A Poem by ericdeben
"

The silence is pure, the silence is evil.

"
      The silence is pure,
        The silence is evil.
It makes me feel unsure,
But the silence is peaceful.

It makes me wonder,
"What is it like to hear?"
Hear the wind chimes and thunder.
To let peace and evil into my deafened ears?

But it's too late for sound,
The sense has been lost.
Taken by thunder,
The wind chimes are gone.

© 2011 ericdeben


Author's Note

ericdeben
Experimenting with poetry. In this poem, I try to describe the perspective of a deaf person.

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Featured Review

A nice write, man. I dig the concept of the deaf person acknowledging that he or she is deaf and thus allowing said person to become somewhat of a spectator of their own malady. I also like the contrast you present between the light sound of the wind chimes and the heavy sound of thunder.

Overall, a great poem.

Peace,
Brenden

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I like this :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


On the second stanza - the bottom two lines don't flow as well, because they have more syllables. Perhaps you could lose the 'Hear the' and perhaps mix it up by separating the last into two lines? Just a thought.

Nice poem, simple and pure. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Such a noble quest takes only a bold man to defeat. You have penned something special.

Posted 10 Years Ago


"But it's too late for sound,
The sense has been lost."
sweet - that applies to so much more than the literal meaning

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A nice write, man. I dig the concept of the deaf person acknowledging that he or she is deaf and thus allowing said person to become somewhat of a spectator of their own malady. I also like the contrast you present between the light sound of the wind chimes and the heavy sound of thunder.

Overall, a great poem.

Peace,
Brenden

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A very good poem man. I especially dig the subtle use of "What is it like to hear?" as spoken dialogue. Gj.

Posted 10 Years Ago


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That's very good. Experimenting are you? I'd say that's a successful experiment. Keep on experimenting.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Wow. Very nice use of imagery.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like it! I also think the first stanza is the best. Nice work.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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1002 Views
18 Reviews
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Added on August 22, 2011
Last Updated on August 22, 2011
Tags: deaf, silence, wind chimes, thunder, storm, experiment

Author

ericdeben
ericdeben

Some town, MA



About
I'm 15 years old and I'm an aspiring filmmaker. When you review my writing, don't just shower me with praise; I can use all the constructive criticism I can get. I'll be taking creative writing class.. more..

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A Poem by ericdeben



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