Chapter 4: I'm Me!

Chapter 4: I'm Me!

A Chapter by ericdeben

Previously in "Anonymous": The man made his speech at the circle and gained a lot of fear, power, and praise in return..


The full moon stares at me through the night sky like the eye of God. To some, it’s a stare of anguish and sorrow. And to others, it’s a stare of hope. Hope that we can stop living in fear. Hope that our people will become more civilized. Hope that we can build a government one that I’ll be the leader of.

A night’s sleep prepares me for what comes tomorrow. Praise, I think. Justice.

However, when I arrive at the Circle the next day, I see men shouting. Shouting the four rules. Chanting for change. And… yelling at each other, but for what?

“I was on that stone yesterday, quit claiming to be me,” one man yells.

“No, that was me! I’m a man of power,” another man yells in reply.

“I’ll fight you to the death and come out unscathed!” he challenges him.

They’re claiming to be me, I realize. How could I be so stupid to think my popularity could last after I left the Circle? They’ve completely forgotten which man I am; who I am. Man’s selfishness for power makes it nearly impossible for me to claim my role.

An arc in my plot; a treacherous twist. How can I convince them I’m the man who was on that stone? How can I convince them that I’m their creditable leader?

“Stop,” I take control, “I was on that stone yesterday. Everyone quit claiming to be me,” or at least I thought I’d take control. My message is nothing but passive remark " I’m the same as everyone else. “I’m me,” I snarl in an attempt to sound more aggressive " yet another silly statement that no one notices.

“You guys really have no idea,” another man yells as he makes his way toward the center stone, “I’m your rightful leader!”

A woman, with a body structure that is unable to claim my position, yells in disappointment, “This isn’t very entertaining. Nor will we get anywhere with this kind of behavior. Just stop.”

And it’s then when I realize, we don’t need a single leader, we just need a strong community " an army of people willing to kill to enforce the rules I have made. In this world, the will to kill isn’t very rare of a quality. Everyone will join my army, whether or not they know it’s mine to begin with.

“The woman is right! We don’t need a leader,” I say, making my way to the center stone as I push the havoc aside, “we need a single army. An army of people to kill the ‘rule breakers’. So whoever wants the society to change, take today as our starting point and go kill!”

My speech seems to shut people up with every word I say as the fraudulent men begin to realize there isn’t any power to claim. The audience silences itself, no praise, no jeering.

I stare out into the distance, observing our army’s first victim; a man running in anger. The Circle turns its attention to him and a man from the Circle pulls his bow out from behind is back, sets up an arrow, aims, and fires. He goes down without a fight. The audience cheers with praise and everyone exits the Circle, ready to battle the rule breakers with much anticipation.

I stand still on the center stone, breathless. I’m not as proud as myself as I thought I would be. Oh God, I think, I just started a killing spree.

© 2011 ericdeben

Author's Note

Short chapter for a short story. Draft 1. Leave as much criticism as you can think of.

My Review

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Short chapter, but gnarly. Yay for killing sprees~ That sounds kind of fun in a totally sick way. Sick'n'twisted, just how I like it. ♥ Nicely written. Everyone's just gonna kill everyone now? O.o I wonder how that'll work out for 'em. Probably won't though...I'm kind of scared to see what they're going to do. Will they seriously just go around killing people? But, isn't one of the rules DON'T kill people?

Posted 11 Years Ago

Hooray for killing sprees! Well, not really, but they make an interesting twist in a book. Well done! I really liked this chapter. No matter short, it was entertaining and it gave us an insight into the book. I can't see anything wrong, well done!

Posted 11 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on August 23, 2011
Last Updated on November 25, 2011
Tags: anonymous, story, dystopian society, earth, serial killers, killing, murder, sameness, the giver, politics, government, anarchy, rape, threatening, laws, rules, morals, ethics, death, selfishness



Some town, MA

I'm 15 years old and I'm an aspiring filmmaker. When you review my writing, don't just shower me with praise; I can use all the constructive criticism I can get. I'll be taking creative writing class.. more..

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A Poem by ericdeben