Wishful Thinking

Wishful Thinking

A Poem by ericdeben
"

This was all just wishful thinking. Wake me up next time I'm dreaming.

"
I used to be an optimist
But pessimism caught my eye.
I used have faith in us
But my faith was all a lie.

And I tried to tell you how I feel
Hoping it'd turn out as I've planned.
But it couldn't be as surreal
As the scenarios in my head.

Take it all in.
I can barely breathe
Take it all in.
What is happening?
I love you more than anything.

You turn away and I'm left standing here.
I guess our relationship ends here.

This was all just wishful thinking.
This was all just wishful thinking.
This was all just wishful thinking.
Wake me up next time I'm dreaming.

There is no happy end
You won't even be my friend.
Except when I'm dreaming of
the scenarios in my head.

This was all just wishful thinking.
This was all just wishful thinking.
This was all just wishful thinking.
Wake me up next time I'm dreaming.
(x2)

We will never be.
We will never be.

© 2011 ericdeben


Author's Note

ericdeben
This song is meant to played on a ukulele with the chord progression C, G, Em, D. I'd upload me singing it while playing the ukulele, except I can't sing.

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Featured Review

A good start, man. Good start. Classic and conventional singer-songwriter example. I particularly like the third stanza because it's a tangent from the first two stanzas and the traditional four lines that comprise them. I also like the somewhat rhyming of "optimist" and "faith in us" - a nice juxtaposition there, to be sure.

The only thing I can suggest is being a little creative with the choruses...or chori...or whatever. With the way it is now, it sounds monotonous, especially with the same words being sung six out of eight consecutive lines. I suggest making the first two lines of the chorus an extension of the narrative, and leaving the last two lines of the chorus as the are. After all, variety's the very spice of life.

I look forward to this one.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

A good start, man. Good start. Classic and conventional singer-songwriter example. I particularly like the third stanza because it's a tangent from the first two stanzas and the traditional four lines that comprise them. I also like the somewhat rhyming of "optimist" and "faith in us" - a nice juxtaposition there, to be sure.

The only thing I can suggest is being a little creative with the choruses...or chori...or whatever. With the way it is now, it sounds monotonous, especially with the same words being sung six out of eight consecutive lines. I suggest making the first two lines of the chorus an extension of the narrative, and leaving the last two lines of the chorus as the are. After all, variety's the very spice of life.

I look forward to this one.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I can relate to this song a lot. :| This is pretty much how I feel now. And if I knew the tune I bet I could sing this. :P
Tho I'd love to see a video of it.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Awsome! Can't wait for the video!

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on December 29, 2011
Last Updated on December 29, 2011

Author

ericdeben
ericdeben

Some town, MA



About
I'm 15 years old and I'm an aspiring filmmaker. When you review my writing, don't just shower me with praise; I can use all the constructive criticism I can get. I'll be taking creative writing class.. more..

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A Poem by ericdeben