Comforting Presence

I feel her presence near
I feel a comfort here
here in this old house
I sense my dead spouse
I sense her spirit here
she's been gone for years
I finally went back home
where so much joy was known
but that joy turned to tears
and nothing on Earth cheered
she and I were alone
now her presence is known
so here in this old house I will remain
next to her ghostly presence I feel no pain.

Reviews

[Charles]

A technically sound poem that strains only a little bit to complete rhymes. A good message as well, one that flows directly from top to bottom (as it should). Without punctuation I treated the last two lines as 'run on lines,' making the reading a bit hard, but after moving back and going at it again, I finally got the reading right. Something to think about... how others will read these last two lines. This concept isn't easy to explain without reading the lines for you... try reading with a pause after 'remain' and then read again with no pause after 'remain' (the lack of punctuation makes this a possibility), but a consequent, forced pause between 'presence' and 'I.' Subtle difference I think, but it's subtlety that makes poetry the art it is.

[Ruth]

Loss is all too painful, I understand this
An amazing poem
xx

[James Watts]

This is a beautiful write, in my opinion. The emotion was felt with each word. Nice work, my friend.

[Crowley]

They are never really gone I guess, standing alone and feeling the presence, a little overwhelming at times. Nice write, I liked it alot.

[Jenny Nelson]

Well done. I can feel the attraction and pull towards that which is and isn't there. I really love the topic you've written on. Stirs up a lot. Very nice piece.

I can relate a little to this piece of yours. When ever I visit the grave sight of my late grandparents I feel the same warmth I felt in their presence while they were still alive...
Nice work overall.

[Jamie S.]

What a lucky man to have the love of a woman so strong that she reaches out as far as she has. Your words put a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. So glad christina sent this to me!

[ettorney]

This is a haunting poem in more than the obvious way. The depth one can read into this is particularly challenging and speaks to the quality of the writing. On one level it is a love memory poem of a person finding solace in a place associated with a passed loved one. On another level its a haunting. A presence in a house. However, as I re-read for the Nth time I see that it is also a suicide note. I mean that the living spouse is haunted by the dead one, his/her life completely sucks (and nothing on Earth cheered) and can not rest (I finally went back home) until he/she joins him in death (...I will remain next to her ghostly presence I feel no pain.)

Its the last two lines that led me to think that.

Nice write.

[alesuriko]

Very beautiful and emotional. The wording is a little awkward in spots and it interrupts the flow a little, but you successfully display a good amount of emotion and the peace one can feel with a dead loved one.

[zombiikillah666]

whoa.....this is ......haunting...and really good. good job. (: