Ripe Romance

Her hooves beat into the earth as she galloped through the grove, the sound like a muffled heartbeat that stirred the spirit of the trees. Black and white locks flowed behind her, glossy and smooth like the cascade of hair that hid her hooves even as she ran at full speed. The skin of her torso was smooth, darkened by the sun with only a slight tint from the dirt she romped in, and her chest was wrapped with violet cloth that shimmered blue in the sunlight. Yet the rest of her, ending at the waist, was furred, and replicated the body of a Gypsy Vanner mare, blotched with both black and white.

          Her laughter was light, entertained, and raced with her, weaving between the trees with the same swiftness as her breath. Chasing after her was a male centaur; he was well built, as the Percheron blood in him made him a massive creature indeed. His dapple grey flanks bulged as he fought to keep up with her, but was held back by his size. Undaunted, despite his constant bumping into tree trunks, he followed the graceful mare even after she was so far ahead that he lost track of the path she took. Delighted by the new challenge, he stopped, looking to the forest floor for her tracks. As he bowed down to brush aside a cluster of oak leaves, he heard the ghost of her laugh, and his smile returned. A light sigh escaped his hulking chest before he bounded into a gallop once more, thundering in the direction her voice drifted from.

          It was not long before he saw her; she was standing still in a small clearing, with her hair covering most of her face. The branches of a peach tree arched above her, accentuating her smile as her mate appeared before her. He stood between the trees, mesmerized by her as she tossed her hair from her eyes before rearing up and pulling down a ripe peach.

          Her forelegs touched down gently, and her blue eyes met the brown ones of the stallion as she delivered a soft kiss to the warm skin of the peach before tossing it to him. It was an easy catch for him, even without looking as it made its way through the air. Smiling, he rubbed his thumb over the damp spot where her lips had been before taking a bite. She reared again and retrieved a peach for herself, taking a bite as she stepped towards him, her long tail swaying behind her. 

       His shoulders flexed, a motion of uncertainty and anticipation; she was beautiful, but unpredictable. Not dangerous, but unpredictable. He badly wanted to touch, and his eyes slid across the skin where his fingers most wanted to dance. Knowing what he wanted, feeling his mind explore the surface of her body, she smiled a taunting smile and extended a hand to wipe the juice of his peach off his chin. He shuddered at the motion, wanting so much more, and wrapped an arm around her waist. She didn't seem to mind, and he relaxed, letting her hand reach up, sliding around his jaw and then extending behind his head to let his long dark hair loose from its tied-up state. 

           When their eyes met, the gaze was soft, affectionate, and submissive. He smile was less playful and more serene, as if she had found the secrets of joy in his eyes. Wanting to reflect these secrets back, she pressed her forehead to his and summed it all up into three little words:

           "I love you."

Author's Note

This piece I focused more on imagery than structure or story, though I would gladly take critique on any of those :)

Reviews

[gcam_13]

I really enjoyed the flow that the story had and I understand now what you mean about keeping a slower softer pace. It's a really enjoyable story!

[Delmar Cooper]

I enjoyed your description, the setting and the gradual way you let a reader discover the world of the centaur. The subtle, muted sexuality of the story is well done. Now about that abrupt ending, how to you plan to revise it?
Cooper

[Emylie Rifley]

Well, currently, my pieces are short clips that don't really have an entire story to them. I'm pushing at the walls of my personal writing to find my style, and expand on my actual ability to write. Eventually, I may post more extensive works, but don't feel the time is right just yet.
Though you might be right that this does end a little abrupt, and I probably should add or alter a little bit.

[Delmar Cooper]

I was teasing. When you and the story are ready all will come together.

[What Was]

This is a lovely piece you have written. I very much enjoyed the intricacies of you descriptions and details. A fantastic read; gripping, emotional, and quite pleasant. Great work!

- Isaac

[Emylie Rifley]

Thank you very much!

[Woody]

I don't know about critique but I love the idea and the way you told the story. beautiful choice of the words you used to craft this sweet fantasy.