motoring toward you ( love senryu)

motoring toward you (love senryu)

 

 

 

i am four wheel drive

trapped in a two wheel body

gunning the engine

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/29/15

Reviews

[FJ Davis]

Mucho desire.
Sensational senryu!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you Frank....
j.

[Paul Bell]

Those are the words i would love to say to my doctor.
With the footnote. Where do i go to get it done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i hear you, Paul....
love that response...the doctor, our body's mechanic...

j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Sounds more like pent up lust Jacob!
Love the short form packed with metaphors.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, John.
j.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

Erin,
Motoring toward you (love senryu). What a happy lighthearted write! I just sat here and felt it's lighthearted message and had to just grin! Thanks for the happy little time in my day. "trapped in a two wheel body: You really gave us all a fantastic poem here! blessings Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and thank you Kathy....appreciate your words.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahaha what a fine senryu for my morning ..bubbles up the chuckling from me belly :)
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, E.

somehow this one got resurrected much to my surprise...thank you for your words,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Ah, that feeling of spinning the wheels when you want to lay rubber, then stalling out when you dump the clutch. Nicely done, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i have stalled out enough times...even though i do a clutch pretty well.

thanks, Ted.

j.

[Corset]

The visions this creates, the sounds, and the emotions, it's a wonderful analogy as well as a fantastic metaphor! Short sweet and hard to beat...and best of all a perfect count!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Corset...only form poems i ever do...haiku or senryu----they seem natural....

[Corset]

they sure do :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh that sounded bad...i meant they just seem to come naturally...i never force them...

[Corset]

I understood

[tanmay7551]

Those words speaks like mountains!

i am four wheel drive
trapped in a two wheel body

Thanks, J.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, tanmay----

j.

[V]

Love the choice of words and the scenery. So I became curious and made my way to the last page and your first poem and I wasn't disappointed yet I actually never thought I'd be, anyways. To be honest, I love your senryu style, I think you should write more of those...Warmest regards

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i rarely do form except for senryu...but only when i am in that frame of mind---unless it comes naturally it doesn't come out of me...i am more of a conduit than anything else...the words come i put them down, i have to, i feel that is what i am supposed to do...it is fun getting to do this poetry thing, but honestly i can take little credit for what appears on the page---

Senryus are fun to write because they are short---i like brevity.

thank you, dear poet,
j.

[V]

You took the words right out of my mouth and mind, or in this case, fingers ^^ again. I couldn't agree more with what you said, I think we have a very similar way of thinking.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we do! i have noticed that for awhile.

[V]

I know, we had talked about it before. It's great.

[Érenn]

Haha this gave me a good laugh. it's a different feel to the poems i have usually read of yours, maybe it is because of it being a senryu? (i don't think so)
Well it was more than just me laughing, i liked the thought behind or maybe i am just viewing it differently ^^

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Errenn....don't do too much form...but have fun with haiku and senryu...

a challenge to compact.

j.