Among the Black-Eyed Susans

  

Among the Black-Eyed Susans 

 

parchment estranged from quill

divorced words the children of empty

ink wells, in dry pastures

soloists seek love

but duets only encumber the meaning

and yellowed vows in fragile crackle

 

break off to the sounds

of milked memory

fading into dark green notes
as fences collapse with tears.

 

erin-cilberto

6/1/1o

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

Black eyed Susans -- beautiful, yet forlorn, like our memories, lost loves, and sad poems.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, KL.

j.

[Lydia Shutter]

No way your ink is ever dried up, my friend! Memories....we write about them a lot and yet they are a constant source of inspiration. Even the bad memories! "Yellowed vows in fragile crackle"...so powerful. Great one. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi...
j.

[Bacchus]

mini sunflowers- i love them.
-but duets only encumber the meaning-
and fragile yellowed vows... we need them so.

I'd argue that's when we really know love- when we choose instead of being caught up by it all.

I only let my kids pick one or two-
yes- what is that milky substance anyway when they break?
I like this one- well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Bacchus...

j.

[...]

Really...this is your idea of a dried inkwell, huh? I could teach you a thing or two about divorced wordage's and " yellowed vows in fragile crackle" haha A sorcerer, you are, to make poetic metaphor flow so easily from a dried up well of anything. And I love the title :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, lynn,

j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Jacob, Blacked eyed Susans in meadows of
melodic memories of children stringing daisies
while lovers dance a swan song. Love is a gift to be
treasured in quiet moments of celebration...
truly a rhapsody of beauty and affection. Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"even in the quietest moments.." (supertramp)

thank you for your kind and poetic reply, my friend.

j.

[barleygirl]

One of my favorites of yours that I've read so far. Love the interwoven imagery between natural observations & writing references & heartbreak. As always, good alliteration & sensory word choices.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, barleygirl,

j.

[Pryde Foltz]

break off to the sounds
of milked memory
fading into dark green notes
as fences collapse with tears.

Powerful metaphor use, Jacob. Loved this one:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Pryde...

j.

[V]

Interesting piece. I like your choice of words though I felt a bit estranged while reading. But nonetheless the imagery is nice.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

such a kind review..."nonetheless the imagery is nice"

sorry it didn't hit you more strongly...

j.

[V]

It did but somehow in a strange way. Or maybe I'm just too distracted today. Not feeling well today.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you....and i hope whatever it is passes quickly and you feel back to yourself.

j.

[V]

Thanks for your kind words.

[Alfred Kukitz]

It a strange way I'm thinking of Sister Millburga, Milky, we fondly called her. The 5th & 6th grade, my downfall years, where she eclipsed the redundancy of her own mind by a milestone. Subsequently, I ventured off into gaga land occasionally punished for lack of attention and sent to the back of the room with a poetry book in hand. We had dry inkwells in the upper right corner of the desk. There was no symphony of learning here.

Regards,
Al

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, those dry inkwells and the nuns....thank you for sharing that Al..

j.

[highonwords]

seems like the poetic subject could write nothing meaningful - he/she feels empty - no words are coming - there is a fade of a memory sound that once sang, until the sentiments/feelings collapsed

best,
steph

[jacob erin-cilberto]

appreciate your insights, steph.

j.