Juliet's Exiled Smile

Juliet's Exiled Smile

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto


Juliet's Exiled Smile

 

 

your voice

was like a brisk wind

i felt the chill echo

in our breath

 

quivering, i closed my eyes

hoping not to hear your heartbeat freeze

against my longing skin

 

because i finally understood

the winter of us 

was anon...

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

7/29/16

© 2016 jacob erin-cilberto


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Reviews

Gave me goosebumps :) All I can say, stunning Jacob :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

thank you for your words, Poppy.

j.
It's gone. It's terrible when that happens.

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

yes, it is...thank you, Mark.

j.
Yep ... superb write, Jacob. You did the bard proud:):):)

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

thank you, Pryde.

j.
I almost wished this was a senryu

i was hanging on the title, reading it over and over again...
those banished upturned lips. it was my favorite part.

i'd describe the smile... then when it winters we all would long for its return.
-B

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

thank you, Bacchus, appreciate your review...

j.
I love the title, which immediately brings the tragedy of the star-crossed lovers to mind. Romantic and tragic, I can picture a fall day, where there is no winter cold, until she speaks. An echo repeats, getting farther and farther away- this is the sense I get when the chill, brought forth by her words, causes breath, once a close exchange as before a kiss, to instead create such distance between you. Quivering brings to mind such vulnerability, one must close eyes not to watch the inevitable playing itself out. Juliet dies of love, but this heartbeat freezing against your longing skin would be the warm heart of love turning cold and unreachable. When the realization comes, unwanted, there is such wintry cold, the ending of a beautiful season of love coming too soon. Poignant, beautifully phrased, images that bring the chill to the reader, so sad, but somehow, so inevitable . . . Thank you for such a deeply felt poem in so few words.

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

thank you for such an extensive and insightful review...

j.
Some relationships end long before the goodbyes cause we don't want to admit we failed at love.

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

hard to admit, isn't it?

thanks, Dale

j.
Love this haunting little vignette, so recognizable, this "brisk wind" and "heartbeat freeze" . . . the last stanza is realistically abrupt (had to look up "anon"!) *smile*

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

thank you for your words, barleygirl.

j.
Appropriate in its brevity and finality, and I felt a slight chill reading this. Wonderfully rendered stuff, Jacob.

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

thank you for your words, W.k.

j.
I enjoyed this poem.
"because i finally understood
the winter of us
was anon..."
The strong description made wish to know and read more. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote



Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

thank you for your kind words, Coyote.

j.
Coyote Poetry

4 Years Ago

You are welcome my friend.
A feeling of resignation....it is over and there is nothing that can be done. Sad, but somehow empowering. Lydi**

Posted 4 Years Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

4 Years Ago

thank you, Lydi...i really hoped to express something similar to that, rather than just loss of all .. read more
Lydia Shutter

4 Years Ago

Good! Glad I picked up on that.

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Added on July 31, 2016
Last Updated on July 31, 2016

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at two community colleges and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. Friending works two ways. If we have had .. more..

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