she, and the other she

she, and the other she

satin stains,

composure averted

his eyes divulged the secret

her suitcase by the door

his packed tightly with regrets

half the drawers empty

a space in his life

the other sees him in the mirror

and winces,

she didn't want to cause this

but her lipstick didn't know when to quit

now the taxi pulls up

his dreams ride away

leaving him paying the fare

"and the bags fly free"

erin-cilberto

12/3/16

Reviews

[Kelly Scheppers]

Your scenarios are better than Stephen King mysteries, Jacob...such a pleasure to read!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i appreciate that Kelly...used to be a pretty big fan of his...in his old days...
thank you.

j.

[icelandicblue]

Our baggage always comes along for the ride. Your words paint a plaintive scene. I am gobsmacked by the line about her lipstick.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

hi Anne...thank you for your kind words...

hope you are doing well....miss seeing more of you around here...

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahah "and the bags fly free" ...i am sure she was not such a bag to begin with .. i was all caught up in this melodrama of splitting ..i see this relationship kind of doomed from the start ..as they are in some one star motel room .. love the mirror...the suitcase ... but especially this line
" ...her lipstick didn't know when to quit"
.. high expectations and passions must fall to earth eventually :( ... as this one did .. seems the poor ol' boy has suffered the ending of two at once eh!?
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, E.

we make our own beds sometimes...and not very neatly.read morethank you for your words, E.

we make our own beds sometimes...and not very neatly.

j.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes indeed we do :{

[Paul Bell]

Always say. If you play away. Make sure it's far far away. Cause when the main woman leaves your life. The structure begins to crumble.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, the structure would certainly do that, wouldn't it? and we all need some structure whether we admit it or not.

thank you, Paul...

j.

[Gee]

The next best thing now the best thing until the next next best thing appears on the horizon. Morning Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Morning, Gee...

and thanks for the visit and words,

j.

[andrew mitchell]

I sometimes wonder whether the other woman leaves her mark like lipstick as a territorial thing or more deviously, to speed up the processes, so she is no longer the other woman but the new replacement.Impeccable Jacob Style of writing, supremo!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, andrew.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

A inane lapse of judgment and a relationship is in ruins. I can see this scenario clearly, too bad he couldn't. Good write, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

perceptive comment, Ted...thanks for the visit.

j.

[Kathy Van Kurin]

jacob,
How many losses do we experience in a life time? Somehow in time they are filled with something or someone new. This poem was a true memorial to loss and we need to grieve. Eventually we may understand better what the lesson needed to be from said experience. I wonder if that is where you were coming from as it is where my head was at. Well bless you sir. Kathy

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like where you went with this, Kathy....

a true perspective...thank you for your words.

j.

[Michael X]

lol.. and the bags fly free" I love the ending! The entire poem has its own aura, you take the reader to the situation, breaking down the situation moment by moment, great work Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Michael.

j.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

The consequences of one's actions...

Lucky is that woman who can easily get out of such "scary place"...unlike other women who are real living martyrs... (:

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, i know a couple of those martyrs...and unfortunately a couple could get out but won't....

thank you for your words, Dhaye.
j.