night life

night life


daughter of darkness
too many daddy's
to speak of,

some with slight hand
some with heavy hand
she has the scars of the street

finds her avenues
acrimoniously,
thumbing rides,
backseat bedposts
positions in an unaccustomed society

he nods,
she turns away even as she turns toward
a few bills,
a few meals

a dilapidated room to rent
her heart rented out by the hour
her body a vacant hallway
a neon sign

daddy comes, daddy goes
and the biological sentiment
drained from birth

the umbilical cut
with violent words
shameful images ignite in her head
as she bends toward the rainbow

her skies always cloudy
a shielded moon 
of being. 



erin-cilberto
1/17/17

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

well done ..somber, hollow shell of living ..the tragedy and heart break for others with empathy and compassion .. but not for her .. this is too sad .. too real ... i can not help but think of my daughters being put into such a life and feel as tho your protagonist is my daughter too :(((( well done ..vivid scenes with heavy on emotive ..word choices and form flow like street rain in New Orleans :(
E.
ps. this line: "her body a vacant hallway" says it all

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing how you relate to this, E.

and for your very kind and supportive words.
j.

[Manu]

Brilliant one, Sir :-)
Heart breaking piece.
This is one dark write and evokes a strong feelings..
I had tears in my eyes reading this.
The scars that this leaves on her soul leaves her broken from within.
You are a genius, sir.. How delicately you presented such a dark write!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your extremely kind review, Gorthi

j.

[Inject Positivity]

This is so very thought provoking Jacob. I find a feeling of sadness and wondering in it that invites the reader to search for the meaning I'm darkness... Your words do create wonders here...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Inject Positivity...

[BBP]

Great write on a dark soul. Portrayed as broken but still human. I liked this one a lot !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Bev.
j.

[Ruth]

Oh Jacob, this really tore at my heart for so many reasons, you have a talent of writing about a situation and giving it your own unique emotion. This truly moved me, deeply, superb :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Poppy.
j.

[Jimmy Yetts]

Hell, anybody who works a job kinda sells his or her body.
Prostitution is far worse; it requires constant betrayal of the heart and piecemeal selling of an injured, shrinking soul.
Tragic beyond description--although "Night Life" comes pretty close.
Exceptional work, Jacob!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Jimmy,

j.

[Gee]

Always makes me wonder what becomes of them, how do they survive once the punters deem them unworthy of the entrance fee. Evening/Morning Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, where do they go?

good question...so lost...

j.

[andrew mitchell]

I thought this was sad, the exploitation of a body to be used to gain some monies for survival, the hardship desperate and unimaginable but relenting to exist.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and the heart so used as well...a tough existence.
thank you, andrew.

[Adam Adams]

Certainly a very heartfelt write it could be to some-writers, but being an erotic writer, i find this poetry quite sensuous, to some extent. A very nicely penned. Liked the choice of words esp. the way you just started this write.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Adam...

j.

[Adam Adams]

been quite long since i read ur work. glad to read 'em back again.

[Ana Papaya]

So heartbreaking, this one...
Makes me think of all those girls who run away from home to escape and wind up no better off or worse... Very good Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ana, you have such a heart!

j.