a grip exhaled

a grip exhaled

 

 

 

suffocate the incentive

choke the proverbs into submission

cliche me to death with your list of attributes

 

i will attribute nothing to your illogical flaws

and flawed logic

except maybe a dose of nostalgia

to remind you of when you were nothing

 

and i was everything to you

 

now the breathing of you has slowed in me

barely a heartbeat left

of what once was a pounding verse

 

a reverse

of wordiness,

just a sharp, concise picture

 

of humble love

that is felt

like a slow, sure pulse

 

quietly.

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/8/18

Reviews

[CopingWithCaptainMorgan]

I enjoy the way you cleverly traveled through many different emotions in such a concise manner. Of course, this is only what I felt from the work. That being said, the powerful ways you described (what I feel to be) resentment and lead right into love in the end, speaks to me of our flawed emotions, our quick reactions at times that may be best left alone when true feelings seem harder to show. Thank you for this!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words,

j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Just barely a heartbeat left...headed for flatline and yet, there is enough pulse remaining to hang on, just that fading memory of love that used to be.


A good write my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ted.
j.

[Michael Oliver]

Been there know that oh so well -

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for understanding, Michael.
j.

[Kelly Scheppers]

You are the infinite light of inspiration for me, Jacob...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are So So kind, Kelly.
j.

[Norman 223]

The pixels of words become the megabites (sic) of sound and thus a poem is born.
Your individual style can always create a kaleidoscope of interpretations, Jacob.

N.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your kind review, Norman.
j.

[Fran Marie]

From a pounding verse to a slow pulse..speaks volumes..an intense write with deep emotions..

Nice Work

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Fran Marie.
j.

[.]

A very relatable piece, Jacob....

This one does cut deep to the vein; written with a tone of both resignation and resentment. There is always one who chokes the life out of every breath in a relationship and hides their flaws behind petty thoughts and excuses of maladjusted temperament. In the end we are relieved to be free of such an illogical being, yet the nostalgia does linger, just like the pulse; hidden and quiet yet always there.

A fitting title for this one, written with your metaphorical brilliance as always. A genuinely heartfelt piece of writing. Well Done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Doodley.
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

another gem love your work Jacob even though I dont understand every poem you write i still enjoy them all
love the way you write im such an amateur here lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words,Julie.
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

as i say not kind just honest
have a good sat/weekend

[angel]

Wow; that was quite heavy. Very thought provoking. I especially love 'barely a heartbeat left of what was pounding verse",after which comes the words, "a reverse'.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, angel.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

"now the breathing of you has slowed in me" when you finally see the faults of the one you thought was perfect, you can move on. Perhaps the love will always be a "slow, sure pulse", but it will not take your breath away and that is a good thing. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi...
appreciate your words,
j.