the consequence of buzz typing and extended prose

the consequence of buzz typing and extended prose

 

 

siphoning the innuendos between stanzas

you poem-ed my best intentions

into your lack of retention

as we met halfway between a bottle of wine

and some drunk syllables

 

i guess i was never good at reading labels

and didn't figure your percentage of potency

would cause me to wake the next day

not remembering one word i almost wrote

 

about you.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/1/19

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

How we let them affect us and are taken in completely by their charms...reading labels the right way comes after some experience, I suppose...
Love the way you've phrased this whole piece, Jacob. I'm inspired, like always.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you so much for your kind words and your keen insight, Yumna..
j.

[KWP]

:) time spent and washed away in a bubble of joyous words

I remember in my younger years solving the problems on the world with close friends when high and knowing I was truly unstoppable

then the sun would rise and I would need some sleep - hahaha :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks for your words, and the smile, KWP...
j.

[kentuck14]

It just came to me, J. . . . Your lines remind me of the old folky Tom Rush . . . maybe a guy named (if I can remember it right) Waite? It's been a long time . . . but I had an album by this boozy voiced, laid back singer songwriter who wrote songs resembling your poems (at least at this moment).
Maybe a little of L. Cohen in this!? J, do you sing and play the git-box? Just what long dead French avant garde (spelling?) poet are you channeling?!! Just having a little fun . . . maybe my blood sugar's getting low!!
Enjoyed the read, J.
Tom

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i have a CD by Rush...and then there is John Waite i believe that's his first name.
funny you mention the French thing...i am a little over half French...a little under half Sicilian...
thank you for the comparisons...
j.

[kentuck14]

Yeah, that's him . . John Waite. Just enough French to channel I would say. Can't say I remember any Sicilian poets! Although the Dons might love poetry!
Keep channeling.
Regards,
T.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Then i'll write you a poem you can't refuse!

[Stella Armour]

Maybe just as well Jacob, who knows what you might have said or written lol

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh, Good point, Stella...good point...:)

[syzygy]

This is lovely. Great follow-through on the conceit, it doesn't feel forced at any point. That 'i guess i was never good at reading labels' line in particular feels natural as sunshine.

Where it all comes together best for me is at the 'almost' in the second to last line: what a whiff of regret, of things that could have been, that one word injects into this poem. Beautiful and surgically precise use of language, congratulations on your skill!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you again for your kind words, syzygy...
j.

[emmajoy]

It isn't always the container or the taste but the dilemma of whether or not to have more, perhaps?! Writing is like loving, you' ve no idea of its power until it reaches wherever it's making for. Words touch, remain, leave, return.. just as yet another sip can. You put thoughts so finely, j., made music with letters and smile them into our thoughts!! ' we met halfway between a bottle of wine - and some drunk syllables.' Even under the influence of.. you write academically, drop by drop!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks so much, em...i just feel so lucky to get to do this writing thing...

[emmajoy]

Laughing at the 'writing thing' You're certainly getting the hang of it, my friend. (oops, you were almost a fiend !)
my friend...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ps, love your line about Writing being like loving.
and it is so true...you are such a poetic soul, my friend...and a warm heart to match.

[emmajoy]

That sweet comment could keep me smiling all day, j., thank YOU.. Must now get to my drawing board and try a touch of poetic something with pencil, ruler and.. whatever comes to mind. :) I refuse to create diagrams on a screen..

[Chris Shaw]

You were intoxicated with her, that is clear. That happens, and after a while you find that what you've got isn't what it said on the tin. Alcohol clouds the issue as well. All sorts of hangovers here.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thanks Chris...
appreciate your words,
j.

[John the Baptist]

Sounds like one hell of a night. Hope the hangover wasn't too bad.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha, thanks John,
j.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Sometimes it is the person and their words that are more intoxicating than the wine... you can get absolutely drunk on a combination like that! Lol
Loved this and the ending is perfectly done!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Ghost.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

I suppose the words would flow quite easily as one became more relaxed and inhibitions fly out the window and what ever comes to mind floods the page! If not written these thoughts would be lost to the vault of nevermore.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, andrew.
j.