munitions

munitions

 

 

destruction of ourselves,

becomes a wanton cry

for constructive criticism of our words

 

even to be noticed

like the bland bush among standouts

we can be the bland, boring, blatantly ordinary

one in the crowd,

filling pages with intrusive abandon

just another face of isolation

 

insulated by our writing

which 

becomes a wanton cry

for constructive criticism of what we are

 

because after all,

we are the poem.

 

 

erin-cilberto

 

8/6/19

Reviews

[Crowley]

Yes!!! That last line is a hammer! It’s why we come here I guess. In hopes of having someone identify. Problem is you still don’t know if you are any good or not.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i don't know if we ever know for sure, Crowley...
thanks for the read, and the twilight zone moment...i was reviewing you at exactly the same time and pointing out a particular line.
doddodododododo
j.

[Crowley]

Lol...that makes Neville Rod Serling. Well, Rod Serling with an accent.

[Pete]

hmm. words are the poet's weapons and arm him with the truth of what lies inside as he battles with life. good stuff - unexpectedly different and telling. very gripping and tightly woven. potent ending ... :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Pete,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

How true Jacob, my poems are me. They reflect my thoughts on numerous subjects, my memories, my love for friends and family, my love of nature. and my disgust at injustices. They are a collection of all that I am. I hope my poems will pass down through my family when I cease to be and future generations that I won't ever meet will get to know a little about me through my poetry. Yes we are the poem.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh i am sure they will Chris...sure they will...
no doubt...
thanks,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

It does seem like that, doesn't it. We must tear ourselves down emotionally to build our words up...hoping they will mean something to whoever reads them and yet we are rather invisible as writers...filling volumes that may never see the light of day...but then despite ourselves the poem that is us rises to the fore and for a moment stands first among peers.
A bit like this one.

A perfect write my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, peers....we are that...all of us poets...although some don't seem to understand that concepts....as voices we are unique...but as a group...we are one...thank you, Ted,
j.

[Lyanth]

We are what we write indeed..We put our hearts and souls so much into everything that criticism of it seems like an attack on us at times. Something to avoid. Touching words, well done.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lyanth...
j.

[Fran Marie]

As writers/poets we strive. everyday to get our message and feelings out there..writing our heart
upon paper hoping were understood at
some point ..good one

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Fran,
j.

[Lorry]

The thing I like about this Jacob, is that it let's other writers know that the path to growing as a writer is difficult for all. Trying to project who we are as people into words that connect and inspire others, whilst trying to balance growth and meaning in our words, with the hundreds of flavours of us we can be on any given day.
We are all familiar faces on the same path, that all had a unique journey to be where we are now.
It is unique to writing, that an insular part of us creates something so personal yet public to all.
And after pouring in heart and soul, some t**d can slaughter it for want of having anything worthwhile to say.... Or be.
It's like a job we don't get paid for and treated badly at, yet we keep turning up for another shift each day.
We may well all be mad 😀

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, another shift....and the real heart of poets understands what other poets are trying to do, to say, to express as life.
thank you, Lorry,
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I guess we do fire off salvos of words despite knowing we will never be famous or recognised as 'poets' of worth simply because we want to express parts of us and be part of the world where others share our shame and joy and desperation. As always you take allegory and paint in the finest oils of words and phrases Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, John,
j.

[Mark Mendoza]

Beautiful poem with beautiful language j. The peice evokes images of the construction of an individual similar to that of the construction of a home-Home is of our creative creation. We may put up any walls we like, fill it with whatever furniture and appliance, we may tear it all down and live with the green scenery and call it home, it is the poem all the same. Many thanks for sharing, it is a fantastic read that I may have to visit time and time again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Mark and your analogy...it is better than the poem...
thank you for your visit...
j.