Scent (a senryu)

Scent   ( a senryu)

 

 

 

sharks nearing surfer

he, oblivious on wave

pipeline to danger

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/23/19

Reviews

[Lorry]

My warped and fragile little mind may be broken, but this reads as watching a surfer in the sea and perhaps makes complete sense regarding the dangers of being online, or is that just the cynic in me?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like that viewpoint, Lorry....the online thing...yes, i like that.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Some are so foolhardy. Do not understand their own mortality. Blinkered when it comes to danger. Can you hear my screaming at him? He doesn't head the warning. He is minced meat.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i heard, Chris...
thanks for trying to save him.
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Dick Dale had great tracks miserlou and Pipeline with Stevie Ray Vaughn. Nice tight writing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, andrew.
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Good one here, J.
Sometimes we hasten towards danger obliviously, thinking we are catching the wave.
Only if we could see what lies ahead of every step we take.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Kay,
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

My pleasure...

[Einstein Noodle]

nice one jacob ..best surfing i have ever done .. :) its all about the danger and the rush .. your senryu is well thought out says i .. delivers an experience i might only dream of .. pretty sure with all the shark weeks on TV i would be pre-wary, however ..great read for me sir!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, E.
j.

[Robert Trakofler]

I have on many occasions been within a few feet of those things:) with a lovely glass barrier mind you. Tho once when wading near the shore one little shark swam between my legs:( I prefer the barrier!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I prefer the glass as well...does it protect the heart, though?
not sure.
thank you, bunny...
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Do not Venture near the Pipeline...actually the Chantays did it first...but we shouldn't jump the shark here.
Can a guy be that unaware of what is going on? Or, are women more practiced at being devious...although, I don't remember women circling my barstool with hungry eyes. I guess the repellant I used was very effective. ;>p

Good one, j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

love your reply....yes, Chantays first, then Ventures...
Chantays, one hit wonder...great song though...i miss the old days and all of the instrumentals.
thank you for the smile, Ted,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Hard to find good guitar instrumentals nowadays...kids don't know what they're missing.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

no kidding..."Apache" "Telstar"...."Walk Don't Run"
"Red River Rock"---and on and on and on.

[Ted Kniffen]

of course, "Pulp Fiction" introduced a world of young people to Dick Dale & Miserlou.

[Robert Trakofler]

(bunny interruption)
I have been listening to William Tyler recently speaking of guitar instrumentals:)

[Ted Kniffen]

I listened to a bit of William Tyler today, an exceptional talent.

[redzone]

yum yum eat em up.... er… I mean, faster faster surfer, danger below... and to take this poem as metaphor, and 'deeper" (yep pun intended), isn't is true that often in our lives we do not see the hidden dangers as we go merrily along thinking everything is okay.... like surf's up dude....

loved the senyru, but I must admit you now have me looking over my shoulder and under beds etc... ;0)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review...and sorry to have you looking under the bed...:)
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Love this watery grave senryu Jacob. Can see the poor schmuck leaving the pipe straight into the jaws! As an allegory women are indeed as dangerous lol!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ha ha....yes, thanks John...
j.