Day Tripper

Day Tripper

 

 

just a slant of peeking daylight

i'm undercover

the alias

writing impromptu wordplay

in pillow talk levity

 

closing the shades

i pick up the pen

and hide within the sheets

of my life

 

unsure if the ink stains

will ever wash out

but in the moment

 

just hoping

to re-dream the theme

unnoticed

until my poetic feet

 

touch the floor.

 

 

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/24/19

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

I guess the writing life can be kind of constraining, especially if you feel compelled to write. Sometimes you do feel cut off from the daylight world. No, the ink stains probably won't wash out, but really, would we ever want them to?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i don't think we would want to, John...
thank you for your words...
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

This is beautiful, J.
You've written me down in this poem.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for relating to this piece, Kay...
j.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

My pleasure...

[Anne’sRants]

I love the idea behind this write. “And hide within the sheets of my life”. I think we are all stories half told.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Anne...yes i do believe that...half or more than half of my novel is finished...but there are pages left to fill.
thank you.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Writing undercover...kinda like reading late at night under the covers with a flashlight until Mom or Dad would shut down the reading room.
I have a feeling most poets or writers of any sort know they are not responsible for their words... they seem to come from nowhere, and disappear as swiftly if they are not committed to paper. Inspiration is everywhere...all it takes is a word or phrase to spark another idea.
Perhaps that is why writers have a difficult time believing their stuff is any good. One of the reasons I am on this site is to get feedback from people who have no personal connection to me, so therefore offer an unbiased opinion & critique. Maybe we do have talent after all.

A good one, j. Don't worry about the ink stains...wear them as a badge of honour.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ted. Appreciate that you could relate to this one...and yes, feedback from strangers...not family...although i am finding many on here who feel like family now.
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Ye, there are many that fit that description.

[R.E. Ray]

Your poem reminds us we play more than one role, often revealing more of ourselves "undercover" than we might realize, our aliases shifting to adjust to the roles and perceptions of others, perhaps.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, R.E.
j.

[DAH]

I love your use of "Day Tripper" for this poem, and you
pull it off as perfectly as The Lads from L.pool.

As a writer, I relate to this on so many levels of needing
to get that fleeting thought on paper before it dissolves.

Bravo, jacob!
DAH

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, DAH...
glad it struck a chord with you.
j.

[DAH]

My pleasure, j. !

[redzone]

I am guessing you know where my mind went with the title of this poem Jacob... yep the Beatles' "she's a day tripper".... of course except for the title, this poem and their song have nothing in common really but my mind works in mysterious ways that I have never understood...

so about the poem then, I am glad your poem has made it to the light of day, it may have been written by an aka Jacob, but it sure make the reader dream and hope for more... and I for one hope those ink stains never come out... just buy new sheets and write more I say...

agree with John below, you are on a metaphoric roll Jacob... go Jacob go....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i guess i am on a "one-way ticket, yeah"
thank you, Curt...figured most will go there to start...but i think all of us have that slant of light that makes us write.
appreciate you, my friend.
j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i still feel like a fake most of the time, Curt...or some kind of plagiarist...because i have no idea where any of this ever comes from...it is like i am some conduit...the words seem to appear and i just pluck them out of the air...it's crazy...i feel lucky to get to write at all...
but don't feel responsible for what comes...
but thank you.
j.

[redzone]

It is crazy isn't it... I feel the same much of the time and when I don't the circular file in the corner of my room gets filled up quickly....

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You are on a roll today Jacob! Another fine write as I see the sadness of a poet hiding loneliness and hurt within lines of make believe until the composition fades to day and reality! Poignant indeed.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, John.
j.