a turning

a turning

 

 

 

i was raindrops in fall

cold orbs pelting the skin of existence

 

i was leaves unattached

blushing in an October breeze

floating

disembarking from you

 

floating

i was raindrops in fall

i was leaves unattached

 

i was me again

just before the acceptance

of where i was to lie

 

eventually covered in a gentle white

blanket, curling crisply

into a fossilized heart

 

leaving an imprint

of the significance

you had at once

stolen away...

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

9/21/19

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

After a breakup, I think every person questions their own significance in the world. If that one person does not care, will anyone care again? You touch on all the senses with the imagery in this one. Liked it a lot. LydI**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Lydi.
j.

[Laura Kate]

A cycle for love. From loneliness ; cold, lonely orbs finding life and love, to togetherness; growing together a tree of stability until once again separation; you detach yourself and float away, happy momentarily to be yourself again until reality hits and you realise where you will be landing ; then finally heartbreak; alone with a dried up, crumbled heart.

Very clever and beautiful imagery. The journey from the tree to the ground was painfully slow, I'm sure the leaf thought a thousand times about turning around and going back.

Laura.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wouldn't that be interesting...seeing a leaf float back up to the tree branch?
but just like we can't reattach to love most of the time...it ain't gonna happen.
thank you, Laura,
j.

[Laura Kate]

Wouldn't it just!!
My pleasure :)
Laura

[gram linski]

that ephemeral fog called love, loved the imagery, cold orbs pelting the skin of existence , now that's what I call rain, great poem,

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, gram,
j.

[andrew mitchell]

I see autumn and the cold here as a paralysis of the heart , a broken heart after being dropped!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, andrew.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Although fall gives such spectacular colour, for me it is a season of decay. It is a season of loss and I feel that significantly when the magnificent silver birch outside my window starts shedding her leaves. I mourn the loss. Your poem, when you say that you were the leaves unattached, I felt you drifting away from whom you had been so attached to in love. The snow falling on the leaf and leaving an imprint is beautiful imagery. Snow melts as does the coldness in your heart. All loss softens in time. What she had stolen she will not be able to retain. Your poem connects on an emotional level and is truly touching.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Chris...
i appreciate you.
j.

[John the Baptist]

This one is an appropriate offering for the incoming fall season. The poet uses autumnal images as symbols for a love that fell away like October leaves. The poem then fast forwards to late autumn, where the speaker is like a leaf covered in a blanket of snow, there "curling crisply/ into a fossilized heart," leaving only an imprint of the lost love. Fall is indeed a time of changes, indeed of sometimes painful beauty.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful and very kind review, John,
j.