see the sounds of leaving

see the sounds of leaving

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto


see the sounds of leaving

 

 

and a love's smarmy hands

find their way home,

to find the door slammed in retreat

 

eyes keep knocking

but hear no reply

so ears look elsewhere

in the deluge of dramatic posturing

 

heart knows she wants him

and pounds harder with rambunctious 

innuendos

 

his stubborn resolve peers through the window

sees a mirror staring back 

no reflection

 

not even one of itself

but to the right a table

one occupant

 

a disconnected smile

waving goodbye

then turning away

from its own tears.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

3/25/2020

© 2020 jacob erin-cilberto


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Reviews

The party's over. It's time to call it a day. One person is calling time on the other. That is painful, particularly if you are the one that is locked out. Remember Peggy Lee? She came into my mind as I read these lines. A moving poem Jacob. Beautifully done.

Chris

Posted 2 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Months Ago

"i got the fever, fever when i hold you, fever when we kiss goodnight" or something to that effect, .. read more
Christine Anne Shaw

2 Months Ago

Peggy Lee was one of my mum and dad's favs. Yes she did fever as well. Of course I remember Buddy Ho.. read more
i really felt this one. a tear-jerker and heartbreaker. reminds me of the song by dave edmunds - i hear you knocking but you can't come in. the word choices and imagery are unsettling to say the least. the end of anything is never pretty.

one occupant - so sad.

powerful title too. one of my favorites of yours ... :)

Posted 2 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Months Ago

yes, great song..Thank you for your kind review, Pete,
j.
Many can relate to this. No matter how happy you started, and how strong you were in the beginning, when it sounds like a one-sided love to one party, then the only choice is to leave.

So moving poem here. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 2 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Months Ago

thank you for your kind review, Dhaye,
j.
Margaux  (Dhaye)

1 Month Ago

You're most welcome, sir!
Tragic.
Still looking for the sweetness in sweet-sorrow parting.
Could not be better said!

Posted 2 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Months Ago

thank you for your kind words, Jimmy,
j.
Jacob - I'm sorry to say that I can feel the pain here. You make it so palatable. I think there are more than a few of us that can relate to this. Nicely done.
Take care - Dave

Posted 2 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Months Ago

thank you for your kind words, Dave,
j.
The sounds of leaving get more pronounced and feel more killing when either stick to their stand and won’t give in to love. I was carried back to those parting moments of my own.

Posted 2 Months Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

2 Months Ago

i like your insight into this, thank you much, Rania.
j.

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Added on March 28, 2020
Last Updated on March 28, 2020

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at two community colleges and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. Friending works two ways. If we have had .. more..

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