Potential

Potential

barbed wire intentions

electric fence,

electric woman,

beautifully dangerous

tragic happiness donned

a cloak of careening love

I kissed your neon eyelids

hallowed heart attack

survival tenuous

I love you as the voltage

tenders my resignation of breath

sparks ignite gratitude for the moment

of you

even if the light in your eyes

is deadly charity

and I am the indigent

needing a fusion

of interest

to lull me awake

thank you for the killer smile

I died a peasant 

rich in sensuous coin

silver linings

I could take with me

thoughts of you I had to.

erin-cilberto

10/17/2020

Reviews

[Marina]

I like the duality of your title meaning here, Jacob....the potential for love and the electric potential energy that it involves. She must have been a real killer, this lady. She wields great power and a sensuality that you cannot ignore so you happily died for her electric touch. It's a great flow of the metaphor, wonderfully worded and conveyed. Now you just need a gorgeous paramedic to shock you back to life. A fine contribution. 💛

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you made me smile with your paramedic idea...thank you, Marina,
j.

[KWP]

I absolultley LOVE the first stanza ... I t hought I was reading about myself ;) .... there is a whole novel right there in that first stanza ... I'd love to do a deep dive right there.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Dive in my friend!

thanks for that,
j.

[barleygirl]

This is the best Halloween ditty I've read this month so far becuz it's so different from everyone else's. I admire you your sterling originality! Such a display of wordplay: "the voltage tenders my resignation of breath" -- if I tried to list more, it would be your entire poem! Thank you for nudging me a few more leagues into the spirit sea (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Margie.
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

she's what song are made of and hearts of poets shredded .. i knew her once .. ;) we do tender our resignation of breath .. all rational and caution cast aside .. Electric Ladyland plays instantly in me nog .. and Witchy Woman .. opening line says it all .. and warned from the very start ..we just can't help ourselves ... also i am reminded of "When a Man Loves a Woman" ..men a sold short too much when it comes to love .. in my opinion ;) powerful emotive write sir ...
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"She's the witch queen of New Orleans"----

and I like your references to the Eagles and Percy Sledge...
"Can't keep his mind on nothin' else"---
Same wavelength, E.
thank you,
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

i love this jacob .. you wrote another that also reminded me so strongly of someone ..but this one is even more accurate for me ... it was quite the ride ... i am sure if given the chance i would do it again ... crazy right!?

[Chris Shaw]

A highly charged write Jacob. This woman spelled danger and had magnetic powers and knew how to use them. That killer smile drew you in. The potential was there but there must have been a shortage because something died. Left with a memory of what might have been. Felt the electricity in this one.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Chris...
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Great lines for this electrifying tryst... I like the first three lines that jolt you, then the rest is the more romantic scene...ah but the ending is powerful..."killer smile"....this is like those electronically visual and eye popping masters of music act....The last part is sad as well because the stimulus dies...comes crashing down nice write Jacob

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Betty.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

my pleasure!

[Dave]

What an experience!! Just the thrill of her charge is such an enticement, no wonder it would be so difficult to let go. I might be wrong,but it excites me that a woman could do that.

Take care - Dave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

appreciate your visit, Dave,
jacob

[.]

So electrifying affair... Just needed a signboard..... Danger. Really got a charge while going through it...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dreamer...glad there was some spark.
j.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

An illusive and dangerous pit to tumble into Jacob. Trust me I know lol. Loved the first stanza as it brings into focus the dangers and obstacles involved with this contemplated tryst in quite stark metaphors. The rest is as always so well set out and described in metaphor and the final stanza literally kills it dead!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, John,
j.