A Line in Winter

Thanks to my friend "T" for the first two lines...he said them to me in an email and gave me permission to use them as a springboard for a poem...and this is that poem.

A Line in Winter

 

 

play pretty for me,

and dance for the flowers gone

 

let your ethereal dress wisp the wind

as the grass turns rust

and leaves color my world

before crunching under the feet

of solemnity

 

November is vesting itself

of an imminent coldness

with no movement, obvious

 

the music will stop

the trees will bow to each other

 

and suffer another winter

 

so 

play pretty for me,

and dance for the flowers gone

 

dance for the flowers gone.

 

erin-cilberto

10/24/2020

Reviews

[duff]

You have a talent to steal a readers eye and you lead them on a journey with ease. I really like the title.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, duff,
j.

[light and ashes]

This is absolutely gorgeous, jacob....how it plays with your imagination and dances like leaves on the page.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Light...
j.

[light and ashes]

You're very welcome :)

[Robert Trakofler]

this is a perfect poetic expression! my mind dances for those flowers in this one brother Jacob poet

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, brother bunny,
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Where have all the flowers gone?
I think we know the answer j. especially after reading your brilliant piece here. Winter approaches ... too many warm days left behind ... too few stretch ahead. We can only hope to keep the music alive. Difficult at the moment as we find ourselves in rather unusual circumstances ... but still , we must try.

Where have all the flowers gone?
Gone to soldiers every one.

Thanks to T for the inspiration.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

'Oh when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn"
thank you, Ted,
j.

[Fairy Khan]

The way you have crafted the poem from the first two lines is surreal. A 10/10 for the imagery and beauty of the poem is too good to be put into words.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Fairy,
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

"dance for the flowers gone"....the reflective nostalgic part of this hit me hard. The music is still playing for those who want to hear it, Jacob....of that I am certain. Winters come and go and Spring always returns. We have to hold onto that. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, we must...thank you so much Lydi...
j.

[AJNJ]

I sense a desire to celebrate and not mourn the loss of color and vitality. The writer wants to find beauty in loss, in the inevitable harshness of winter, one that will strip him bare. This wish to dance is so touching, so human.....Awesome!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

quite like this take on the poem..thanks so much AJNJ...
j.

[AJNJ]

You're most welcome dear sir.

[emmajoy]

Soon to bed and to dream the pretty play creation you've shared. Your words couldn't be lovelier or more subtle as they unfurl your thoughts, jacob. Thank you for sharing.. truly. Stay safe..

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, dear em....
j.

[Dave]

What a picturesque way of looking at it.

Take care - Dave

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dave,
j.

[Dave]

You're most deserving.

[kitty]

Play pretty for me and dance among the leaves that 'fall'. the heralding of winter's thrall. Sorry I haven't been on here for a while and have truly missed your pieces. Couldn't help posting my ditty - just for a laugh. Stay safe in any climate especially Corona!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, in any climate...i pray for it to be gone sooner rather than later.
thank you, kitty,read moreyes, in any climate...i pray for it to be gone sooner rather than later.
thank you, kitty,
j.