an incident

an incident

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto

an incident

 

 

 

armies of wedding crashers

the rice is sold 

to kamikaze crows

blackening the sky

rain on the vows

 

the nest is built

the nest is a precarious home

in which hearts dwell

on the split ends of time

 

a follicle of love

falls,

a child screams

 

the war is an expressive

consequence

 

when there is nothing left to throw

and the service is a voluntary

excursion into madness.

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/10/2020 

© 2020 jacob erin-cilberto


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The reality is that more of late I see these omens more compared to happiness...maybe times have changed so much such things seem deemed to fail more...incredible imagery Jacob, as always...

Posted 6 Days Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

6 Days Ago

thank you for your understanding words, Ruth,
j.
A rather bleak look at "wedded bliss" here. I liked the metaphor of hair....split ends. Yup, marriages sometimes end up split. Then there are others that last till death do they part. An excursion into madness? Hell, sometimes I feel as though this pandemic is the nation's speed train into madness. I can hear the whistle blowing! :) Lydi**

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

Yes, on the latter, as I think of my folks...70 years...
I, too, hear the whistle blow...
read more
Kamikaze crows blackening means a bad omen. Vows of rain that is it only predicts some outcome of misfortune
But the third stanza is most painful with regard to marriage....a very vey sad and troubled one
.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

Thank you for your words, Dreamer,
j.
Kamikaze crows at a wedding are not a good sign. When there is nothing left to throw in the nest, the marriage is well past its sell by date. A child's screams means there was collateral damage. This was painful to read Jacob. It must have been hell to experience. Superb piece of writing. Dramatic imagery and so much hurt.

Chris

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

Thank you for your kind words, Chris,
j.
Such an extremely powerful, heart-wrenching piece of work here! The mention of the crows, especially with how nerve-wracking and foreboding they can be added a lot. A dark poem, with perfectly chosen words that I loved.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

thank you for your kind review, Colacat,
j.
It sounds as though the honeymoon was over quite quickly. The crows at the wedding is a foreboding symbol. The "nest" seems to have been a difficult place, the falling follicle of love and the child's scream suggests the tension affected others besides the two principals. It does seem to have been a war, which reminds me of why I waited until middle age to marry.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

I should have waited that long...
thank you for your understanding review, John,
j.
families unmade by the beds we lay in and lie , daddy will be home soon, I'll be home by Christmas my love etc...wars make liars of us all.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

Yes, they do. Thank you for your words, Corset,
j.
so powerful .. love the mix of metaphor and allegory .. the hair falling .. sheesh! as the child screams .. strong transition form split ends of time to follicle of love .. an incident .. a small space of time and focused ... to this huge scene of present and coming disaster .. so grey and dark .. i always love the crows .. such a strong omen .. and yours are kamikaze ... sheesh! that scene from the "Birds" ...we try our best to make a safe place .. but as in all things life is really quite delicately balanced and we can so easily loose all...
"the war is an expressive
consequence" .... seems to be true .. studied rats will only tolerate so many in a confined space and they will turn on each other .. sorry, jacob .. i am kind of dissecting your poem .. but its what i do ..especially when there is so much meat in them .. peace and joy brother!
E.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

Thank you for this proper dissection...I am always fascinated where readers travel when reading a po.. read more
Einstein Noodle

1 Week Ago

:) ........................
I see two strands in this one Jacob. First how we progress from the romance and notions of a happy life with marriage and kids but it breaks down until loggerheads is the watchword of the day and we are so worn out by it all. After reading about Australian special forces committing atrocities in Afghanistan my second strand sort of took me to the start of a 'just' war that falls into uncontrolled systematic murder by troops constantly under fire and stressed. Love that first stanza so very descriptive.

Posted 1 Week Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Week Ago

thank you for your kind words, John,
j.

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Added on November 19, 2020
Last Updated on November 19, 2020

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at two community colleges and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. Friending works two ways. If we have had .. more..

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