dad

dad

 

 

afterthought

 

came before

 

tension, a burden of

 

misappropriated endeavors

 

erased upon 

 

the next thought

 

that remained forever delinquent

 

and poised

 

to strike.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

11/27/2020

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

This poem makes think that you did not gave a valuable relationship with your father.. and looking back on this it is disturbing to you..that there was tension in the relationship and endeavors that did not produce positive vibes.. it seemed like he was venomous to you and remembering only hurts. ( this is my interpretation)! Best, Betty

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Oh wow, this is a very interesting perspective...
I am fascinated by how readers see things in poetry.
I appreciate your words, Betty.
j.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

A lot of times poems are just poems created from thoughts that come out of the air.
Actually by dad and I were more than father and son, we were buddies as well...very close.
But many suffer from that relationship that is strained and it is so sad.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

My crazy comment! So glad it wasn’t your dad; glad you were buddies!!!
Best B

[Betty Hermelee]

Jacob, please interpret the poem for me as you wrote it! Many thanks

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Not crazy at all, an interpretation that fit very well.
I write open poetry.
and I appreciate your reviews.
j.

[barleygirl]

As you know, I have no feelings toward my dad, but I had a best friend who died about 5 years ago & his friendship was the big-brother vibe I crave. I still get a random pang (among dozens of warm fuzzies) when I remember something that went awry between us that I wished I'd been a big enuf person to own up to at the time (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I miss him so much....thank you, Margie.
j.

[Ruth]

Gives the impression of anticipation and anticipation is not always a good thing...shadows hide in anticipation sometimes...vivid piece Jacob...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Ruth.
j.

[Stella Armour]

So sad when memories are like this; i too have them about my mother. At the time we do not see clearly maybe the whole picture but it leaves us often wondering "Why?"

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Stella,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

I picked up specifically on the word tension. Maybe not always seeing eye to eye. Often our parents have their own ideas about where our future should be heading. Doesn:t work that way. That's where my thoughts went Jacob. Sad, but reality.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am so pleased to see the different interpretations to this piece...means I was able to keep it open.
thank you Chris...
I really liked Betty's interpretation as well.
I learn more about my own work from what you guys tell me in reviews...or better yet, show me.

[light and ashes]

Wow, a very telling poem.... nice work.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Light.

[light and ashes]

You're welcome, Jacob.
Thank you for your review as well.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Powerful words. I can take it in more than one way/meaning but each way made this an enjoyable read. Tyfs

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Cyprian,
j.

[Patricia]

I feel ya j. It makes me feel intense, lots of memories just flooded me, shiver! It makes me want to know more but I can see this might not be something you would expand upon or maybe that’s just me projecting... yep just me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You are right...I am leaving it where it is, but you do understand, I am sure you do.
j.

[Patricia]

Oh I do my friend :)