Scene

thanks to Emmajoy, whose poetry reminds me to get my butt in gear, and write something that paints pictures in words. I think I had forgotten how to do that.

Scene

dawn summons the teardrops

they fall hard,

a broken heart opens

like blossoms on the white pears

morning fades against her memory

she no longer feels in color

gray skies assume her skittish demeanor

once so strong, she is now a damaged oak

teetering in a brazen wind

that has no regard 

and whimsically inherits

her rain.

erin-cilberto

5/18/2021

Reviews

[Relic]

I suppose the white pears are the product of wisdom which comes from age. I'll bet through passed time they taste sweeter than ever.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, Sweeter...thanks, Relic,
j.

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

the best writing to me touches all the senses making words into texture. Great job and continued success in your writing journey.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Carlos,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Memories remain after the passing of time, though colours fade. Often at dawn that's when my heart is more receptive to loss. The imagery is exquisite. The first two couplets stunning and the emotional hit, yes I felt it. Em has influenced you :)

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, she has...maybe I will start writing some decent description.
thank you, Chris
j.

[Ted Kniffen]

Funny don't you think, that memories fade from glorious technicolor to shades of grey ... and yet they remain. Tears come suddenly and for no apparent reason ... or at least one that we don't immediately grasp the meaning of ... a picture or a phrase ... maybe a gentle chuckle will open the flood gates and those drops of salt fall freely.

Maybe we get more sentimental as we age.

A good write my friend.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, a gentle chuckle---
thank you for your words, Ted,
j.

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Jacob... your poem is a perfect Eulogy for my husband’s sister Priscilla who just passed ... to the Glory of the Sky on May 17...2021...
with family gathered around. Pris was a Novel in the making... an Artist 👨‍🎨 with a touch of the hereafter. She now has her Rain and the Clouds gather her tears for the Hollyhocks and Gladiolus of this Earth. She is experiencing a new Birth and our breathing is mellow music 🎶 in the Wake of Ocean waves. Prayerfully, Pat

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, Death really is a new birth, isn't it?
thank you for your words, Pat,
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

I absolutely adore the imagery in this one. It's so, so hauntingly gorgeous. It's a tad emotional too and will definitely remind the reader of some memory in their life. 'Dawn summons the teardrops', is truly such a beautiful line. This poem reminds me of a sad and almost sick feeling dawn, just an absolute chill in the air.
This is one I'll love to reread again and again.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind words, Colacat.
j.

[Lorry]

The "She no longer feels in colour automatically made me think of a love that has passed Jacob, but the damaged oak made me think of the strength you got from her strength is running ever lower for both.
This certainly paints pictures, of of who they and we were and what we became.
The scene being watched of stormy weather carrying on regardless is one of the harshest and coldest of realities to be caught in as your world falls apart. The world keeps spinning, leaving us where?
This one will reverberate into my today for sure.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Thank you, Lorry...reading emmajoy is leading me to the conclusion that I write "dull"---
her work is pushing me to improve...or try to.
thank you for your kind review,
j.

[Lorry]

Dull? Never! Nope, not having that 😊

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh my....so very emotional. This makes me think of my mom. I watched her wither for months. It was hard to believe she was so strong for so long. I miss her a lot....as I know you miss your mom. Beautifully written. Lydi**

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for identifying with this piece, Lydi.
I am sorry for your loss as well, but when someone can read us and relate to the words it is a blessing.
j.