Grandfather Clock

Grandfather Clock

 

 

 

an old business card

plain,

a few typed words

“I love you's” not heard

she is abandoned

he is lethargic with his lavish praise

a banker's daughter 

short of funds,

of fun,

of the tapestry of family

sewn into incriminating patchwork

 

She looms

stitching absurd

temperament fastidiously

frozen

that woman of flaming hair

burnt heart

 

the uncomfortable teller

eyes darting every which way

the near child

abuts seventeen

on her own,

 

blood is a thin substance

when the motives for bleeding

are selfish clues

to detachment

of a timepiece that could not sustain

its paternal investment.

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/8/22

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

With time watching so to speak the love in the now will not be the same in the future. This write had shades of Lolita movie with age references and the grandfather clock suggests old age to me.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting, andrew....I can see where that might appear...Oh that James Mason...
j.

[andrew mitchell]

Yes James Mason and Jeremy Irons did well too, he’s such a good actor.

[duff]

There are some great lines throughout this piece.
"She looms
stitching absurd"

An overflow of emotion between these two. An intricate dynamic. I like it Jacob.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh yes, for sure...thank you so much, duff.
j.

[duff]

Anytime Jacob. I hope you have a great Saturday.

[John the Baptist]

The poem describes the daughter of a prosperous man who should be happy but is not. The feeling is that the banker probably is more invested with his work than with his family. That she has flaming hair and a "burnt" heart indicates she may have been hurt badly in youth and has now forgone matrimony. So she waits while Daddy counts his money.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

interesting response....and there are parts that are so true,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This one reminded me of an O. Henry story about a thief in love with a banker's daughter. Early on, we think we can see the plot unfolding but O. Henry is famous for the plot twist at the end of the story. Maybe this has a twist we haven't seen yet. Love will find a way, as they say. Great read. F.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Fabian,
j.

[Andrew John]

A great powerful one - and the idea of selfish clues to detachment. Odd bits of this one make me shudder, J. Thanks.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing your reactions, Andrew,
j.

[Miss Sharon]

Beautifully written as per your forte my friend with a compelling message. ~Sharon

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are kind, thank you, Sharon,
j.

[sonnie ibadah]

Such a tragic tale. Your writing is so powerful J. Well penned!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, sonnie, appreciate your words,
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

well done .. a whole novel contained says i! so easy to make up the background of this "family" of stature .. the seedling that went astray .. so young, your
"woman of flaming hair
burnt heart" ,,, i leave her there, standing alone in her "blood" tragedies of selfish family motive .. so so sad .. and the lights fade and camera slowly moves away until the stage is dark ... so enjoyed reading .. powerful emotions and creative tension in this one jacob! it's a keeper says i!
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, E., so much behind this one...
this one was not easy to write...
j.

[Einstein Noodle]

ps. your title drew me in ... love those clocks; but your poem gave a whole other meaning to "Grandfather Clock"

[Frederick Kesner]

Whoa, this one brought chills down my spine. Back in my grannies' place was a long dark hall into the rest of the house. Smack in the middle of it was an old grandfather clock with a rather creaky pendulum. It would strike the hour faithfully as if marking the epochs of dysfunctionality from generation to generation. This poem brought that forgotten memory back. And the poem leaps out of the 'page' bringing with it another, more private story. And quite rightly so, it could not sustain its paternal investment. Mores the pity. My father passed on this April. And some things, as they say, they took with them to the grave. Thanks ever so much for sharing. Frederick.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for sharing, Fredrick and I am sorry about your Father...
mine passed in 2017, he was going on 98...
my grandfather was another story altogether...
lots of pain in writing this...more for my mom than anything else, was her father.
thank you,
j.

[Frederick Kesner]

Oh wow. Sorry to hear. And feel the 'pedigree' of this particular poem. My dad would have turned 80 next month. He was born during the beginning of WW2 for the U.S. His dad, my pop, was a youngish lieutenant with the 41at INF battalion during the defence of Bataan. He passed on in the '90's of lung cancer (smoking) It was their house that had that grandfather clock. I used to stand frightfully still when it rung the hour and run past it with backward glances. Of course between these recognisable pillars of life and living lie other, more painful stories, swept under the carpet, and skeletons banging at the wardrobe doors to be let out. But that's a whole other story. Pardon, for spilling my story onto your page. As it were, the poem opened up a floodgate. Thanks for interacting on this. /Frederick.

[Chris Shaw]

Sad poem. Seventeen is a very young age to become abandoned to parental support. I felt the paternal detachment here in particular. You must have mixed feelings about that grandfather clock. Must be a reminder of upset. Reminds me of Cath my daughter, her father has no contact with her. Shows interest in his grandchildren, but none in his own daughter. I just do not understand that.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

that is such a sad situation...with Cath and the abandonment.
I could only imagine being in my mother's shoes as a late teen....how can a parent be detached?
really puzzling.
thank you, Chris,
j.