Burnout Concert

Burnout Concert

 

 

acoustically dreaming in the wind

of relentless effigy

a sun among the blades

of superfluous words

I write to live,

but sometimes the breath refrains

 

let me put my verbal longing

to the music of the moon,

nighttime keys

pluck in better synchronization

because sleepy fingers

are somnambulists of intention

 

I love you in sporadic thunder

frenzied claps of standing ovation

your heart rests in my encore

as the auditorium of feelings

empties onto the street

remember where you left yours

 

and drive me home.

 

 

erin-cilberto

5/16/22

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Those feelings of longing aren't being reciprocated. The final stanza is so good. Just where has she left her heart, I ask myself? . To be on the receiving end of this sort of behaviour is such a disappointment.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insightful words, Chris,
j.

[John the Baptist]

I get the feeling of love unreciprocated in this one. There is the plea for someone to remember where feelings were left, after all that verbal longing was expended. No wonder those fingers were sleepy and needed to be driven home.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I wonder where they were left...mmmm.
thank you, John,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Fabulous verbiage and description with a nice bit of a twist at the end, yes, I like this very much. May your words make her breath quicken instead of failing you and your muse be ready at the task. I adore the last verse, "sporadic thunder" and "frenzied claps", the lady gets a standing ovation of love. Feeling the fireworks. Nice. F.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, Fabian,
j.

[Patricia]

I love this, I have been there in those late night concerts and memories hitting the keys to the beat of my heart. Relatable

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your words, Patricia,
j.

[light and ashes]

Amazing. Ending is powerful and says so much.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you much, light,
j.

[light and ashes]

You are always welcome.

[lightsong]

How beautiful is THAT? even when You write about writers' block You write it with a moving touch and heartfelt feelings. many lines here are really special. love will always find the way to ignite our inspirations even in a sad theme. and the poet with his yearning will always find his way to poetry, his safe creative and alive home. emotional and beautiful one. I could paint the scenes in my head.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your very kind review, lightsong
j.

[lifejunkie]

I read this over and over again, and it made the most-highly coveted of awards in my house, it is officially Fridge-Worthy (in that I printed it out and pasted it on my refrigerator) so I can read it often for pure inspiration about life, but also make me think, "Mannnnn, I wish I could write like this!!!" as well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

a place on the fridge...I am quite honored, thank you very much...Hope it works.
j.