Obituary

Obituary

 

 

 

the laughing boy

lustfully absorbed pain

for his pen's sake

 

then age struck down

his ink riddled body

and he collapsed upon his page

 

still laughing

but now in duplicity

a carbon copy of himself.

 

 

 

erin-cilberto

6/20/22

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I do believe we do Jacob.
"then age struck down
his ink riddled body
and he collapsed upon his page"
I did love the above lines. I have collapsed already my friend. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind words, Coyote,
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Jacob.

[Lydia Shutter]

Ah, the pain splashed on the naked page for all to see. Where does that leave the poet though? Do the emotions magically disappear once they are written? Sometimes holding your cards against your chest is the way to go. Interesting one! Lydi***

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Lydi.
j.

[Laz K.]

This poem should come with a warning: "Mind bender. Read at your own risk." (This is meant as a compliment.) So many associated thoughts and ideas flooded my mind after having read this: the relationship between the author and his work. Does the author write his work, or is it the other way around? It also reminded me of the idea of "hyper-reality": copies of copies of copies. If we can create copies of ourselves, at what point do we lose sight of the original?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Hell, Laz....your review is better than the poem...
thanks for indulging this piece with your words,
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Love that Jacob esp how he collapsed under the weight of his page
His page was heavy with feelings of his life so many memories written in ink
The paper suffocates him

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Julie...you are a kind poet.
j.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Not kind maybe too rough and common and speak my mind lol

[Chris Shaw]

Whatt an obituary. What we will do for our art. How we will splash our inner emotions all over the page for voyeurs to see. All in the hope that we will be remembered when we are gone. Isn't that what it's all about? Lovely composition hear dear J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

anything for art's sake...thank you, Chris,
j.

[redzone]

all I can say is that a carbon copy of your poem (and its author) is better than most regular poets, including me on my best days.... on those days where the pen 'strikes you down' you are more than welcome to some of my aspirin (extra strength)....

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are too kind, Curt...
thank you,
j.

[W.k.kortas]

I am reminded of something Hawthorne said, and I am obviously paraphrasing here, that all writers spend the last 20 years or so of their lives trying to recapture whatever the hell it was that got them on the page in the first place. Tightly crafted and smart stuff.

[LJW]

W.k....i am finding this to be true, that is, if I have 20 years left. I started writing to make sense of life. To purge my demons and speak my truths in the hopes another could connect and find a new awareness, or peace, or a reason to see themselves in a different light. I will only write about my life from now on.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and I think the opposite is also true...some writers/poets live and learn and write and learn and live....and hopefully improve with practice.
thank you for your kind words,
j.

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Jacob,

Me dost think that thou has set to pen of page a reality filled with much more than the dope of false hope and the pigeon poop of religion ... Your golden quill hast spoken in words more than just token, but in reality revelations of a most sacred truth that is not spoof, nor lie, nor grifter's trade to ply: Our hopes and dreams of any eternalness of said hoped for Afterlife are to be found within the words you have penned ever so nicely and not so round: "A carbon copy of himself ..." ... Excellent and more so ...!

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Your review is better than the poem....by far...thank you, Marvin...
j.

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Words that speak to any writer- what you write reaches deeply all other writer’s, you’re like a voice for us, almost. Telling the writer/poet’s troubles for the world to hear, writing your immortal mark into the world over and over again, and doing it with the absolutely utmost powerful words. Your poems always carry a familiar feeling, something that we’ve all been through. The words here are powerful and saddening, but powerful. I feel the ‘laughing boy’ isn’t just laughing out of one pure emotion. There’s so much more there, and your so smart with your words you tell whole stories with only a few lines. You are an extremely respectable writer, and you’ve impacted so many, including me, inspiring so much more poems from different generations. Thank you so much for sharing and keeping the light around poetry going strong.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

these are very kind words, Vertigo Cat....
thank you so much...
j.

[JE Falcon]

Ah, the wish for immortality! Is it vanity, or just a play on words?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

maybe a bit of both? don't you think?
thank you, JE,
j.