First Draft

First Draft

A Poem by jacob erin-cilberto


First Draft

 

 

I refuse to revise my life

others want to edit 

cut and paste

but I am the essay

bound for my own conclusion,

assembling my own constructs

 

of faith, of love

of dismantling my sentences

construing parsed semantics

into each breath

 

they get shallower

yet, brief with wisdom

that finds its way

into that aged cave

where I am caught spelunking

for new lines to write

 

the cave becomes a maze of dementia

my poems get lost

in some crazy correction

 

I am the poem, the life

and I will delete it

before allowing the red pen

 

to touch it.

 

 

erin-cilberto

8/7/22

© 2022 jacob erin-cilberto


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Reviews

Agreed. Let the pen wielders and other critics splash all the red ink they want. If they don't like the first draft, let them eat crow when the sequel comes out.

Posted 1 Month Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Month Ago

we have to faith that what we write is significant to some...maybe more than that...but nevertheless.. read more
No space for red besides to show the love of your beautiful heart feeling everything so deeply playing out the most beautiful play of life that we ourselves direct 🌹sometimes direction is difficult but the heart never lies , your edits are yours to make to live and learn and never to regret 🌹for what are mistakes but that of stepping stones to success and growth 🌹

Posted 1 Month Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Month Ago

Your reply is so poetic and better than the poem itself...thank you, Kelly,
j.
‘Thoughts In Time’🌹

1 Month Ago

Oh no never but bless your heart and may there be many more of your wonderful poems to come 🌹
We are in charge of our own Freedom to write our Poems with a Pen dipped in Love and Tragedy… as high as an Eagle flies and explore the depths of a Cave where Bats appear over a Lake of Propriety. Amazing Poetry … Pat

Posted 1 Month Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Month Ago

I think I want to go to the place you describe with just a manual typewriter and what is left of my .. read more
Patricia Wedel

1 Month Ago

Sanity is derived from Sanitary these days… it is Insane to let everything and every person Cross .. read more
Couldn't help think of controlling one's destiny while dementia takes bites out of your apple. A fine write.

Posted 1 Month Ago


jacob erin-cilberto

1 Month Ago

thank you for your insightful comment, andrew, and it is good to see you again,
j.
andrew mitchell

1 Month Ago

Hit with covid for a while, J. Very chesty, congestion like having a cramp on the lungs.

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4 Reviews
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Added on August 10, 2022
Last Updated on August 10, 2022

Author

jacob erin-cilberto
jacob erin-cilberto

Carbondale, IL



About
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..

Writing