Vanishing into Light

Vanishing into Light

sarcastic heartbeats

aloof venom

poison persuasion

i loved her till i burst

with passion,

then like a twisted symmetry

the shape of love

rewound the wounds

and i disappeared.

erin-cilberto

11/29/22

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Can there be a worse fate than being ignored totally as if unworthy even of existence acknowledgment ?
Brutal.

Winston

[jacob erin-cilberto]

appreciate your words, Winston,
j.

[Soren]

The total wording in this poem gives it a depth that puzzles the mind. twisted symmetry, rewound wounds, cause the mind to think. The end "and I disappeared" was an unexpected finish.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, Soren,
j.

[John the Baptist]

Interesting alliteration between rewound and wounds. Looking at them, one would think they rhyme, but the peculiarities of our language give them different pronunciations. I may be interpreting incorrectly, but I think the rewinding of the wounds brought about a love that resulted in healing. And with that healing, the ego disappeared.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Our crazy language...yes...thank you, John,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Feeling and healing may be more closely related than rhyme. We can't let pain define us but it is there to remind us when something is wrong or we need to stop and reflect. I think everyone at one point or another has dreamed of disappearing. Only the magicians among us have the act perfected.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your insights, Fabian,
j.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I enjoyed the read, my friend.

[light and ashes]

Interesting read, jacob...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Light.
j.

[light and ashes]

You are very welcome.

[Einstein Noodle]

ouch ... love can suck .. no doubt about it .. reading i feel the constraints .. an anaconda grip slowly devours .. sheesh .. when in such a grasp ... i feel the need for a weapon of some kind .. wire cutters maybe .. i think this poem is super emotive .. love it's brevity and a whole book worth of story .. you rock it sir! be well .. wishing you the best of the day
E.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you for your kind review, E.
j.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

what a metaphorical heartbreak you express he

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Dale,
j.

[Ciara]

This feels so toxic. It can be a wild ride but not one you stay on for too long

[jacob erin-cilberto]

thank you, Ciara...
j.

[Chris Shaw]

The shape of love. Clearly a new sweater which got mangled in the first wash by the sounds of it. Best left J.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Sweaters always made me too hot.
thanks, Chris,
j.