Love how you carried this metaphor through. From the haunting cry of the loon to the song ending. That ending feels like finality. I enjoyed how the last stanza sort of sank under the water. I have an image of nothing being visible but bubbles. There’s a sense of tension between the music and its ending that works so well. Great work, Jacob.
I hate to get all hip on your a*s Jacob, but how did you do that, make me hear that tune build from its chaotic beginnings to a smooth and recognisable tune that explained to me perfectly what you were hearing and feeling.... Daddy O! 😃
(Yes, I do have a fixation with that phrase, which is the polar opposite of what I feel about fake hipsterdom)
Even the end feels like it's drowning in an unexpected struggle, which I'd how I am currently feeling waking up to the election result right now!
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
I stayed up most of the night until it was clear who won...very long night and it will be a very lon.. read moreI stayed up most of the night until it was clear who won...very long night and it will be a very long 4 years...
j.
1 Month Ago
Unless the big beard guy in the clouds takes pity on you and makes the next bullet land smack bang i.. read moreUnless the big beard guy in the clouds takes pity on you and makes the next bullet land smack bang in the middle of the oompah loompa's face!
Well, we can hope anyway.
Sheet music, flat, still ponds, slant rhyme and crazy diving birds, could be the composer is very close to flat lining out as life seems to becoming rather vague, bereft of imagination and a soul..
Intriguing, marvelous metaphorical poem Jacob, always a joy to read & review even though I have to really think about it for a minute or two though that is joy of reading your work!
Oh Jacob, but you are a master of metaphor and not even a little bit florid in your execution. You are fine, fine poet. Always a privilege to read you.
I liked how you first describes the piano by saying the ivories pait tunes of black and white and then sheet music, it just gave me a mental image of someone playing one under lone ceilings, oh and the words though they made me sad I think they hit something relatable.
a wonderful ode to a piano. i tried learning the instrument before, i never got far with it though. but this makes me want to pick it up again. i preferred playing sad pieces... which says more about me than i'd like to admit.
Posted 1 Month Ago
1 Month Ago
and poets tend to write much more sad poetry than happy poetry.
Thank you for sharing, Ern.
Originally from Bronx, NY, I live in Carbondale, Illinois...teach English at a community college and have been writing and publishing poetry since 1970. I am here to read for inspiration from other po.. more..