Dear My Love

Dear My Love

A Story by erums

a letter to the boy i love


Dear ….,

If you saw me typing this now you’d probably think this was a letter begging for you back when in all reality it’s a letter full of I’m sorry, I love you’s and some thank you’s, too.

I hope you’re doing well. I know you are, though. You were always so determined, committed, and headstrong; you never let anything get in the way of what you wanted, including me. Even though I completely understand the reasons for your rejection of me, it still breaks my heart to think about the future we could have together. All of the crazy adventures, memorable laughs, and tough times we conquered together bring tears to my eyes every time I think about sharing those experiences with you. Our wasted potential feels like a knife in my back that gets dug in a little deeper every time you dance across my mind. Because deep down under all the seriousness, independence, and impatience I truly believe you do care about me. I refuse to believe that after all these years and everything we’ve been through I mean absolutely nothing to you.

That being said, I have some things to tell you.

First, you are one of the most important people in my life. I love literally everything about you. Every aspect of your personality and demeanor makes you perfect in my eyes. I could never imagine anyone better. Everything I see, hear, read, and listen to makes me think of you. All of the sappy love songs I listen to, the hopelessly romantic articles I read, and the cute things I see couples do make me think of you and us. You haunt me. And as much pain as it causes me, cutting you out of my life completely would be equivalent to death.

Second, I want you to want me. I find myself in desperation over your time, love, compassion, and affection. I so desperately want to be a serious part of your life again. I so badly want you to reciprocate the feelings I have for you. I want you to confide in me, to lean on me, to grow with me, and let me into the darkest, most broken parts of your soul so I can heal them and make you whole again. I want to show you I have more to offer than you think.

And lastly, I want you to know that it’s always been you; and it always will be. Through the years I’ve experienced others and the love they had to offer, but I always come back to you. And although I take a second look at other guys, you are always in the back of my mind. No guy will ever stand a chance against you. The way I feel about you is so genuine, unique, and rare. I could never imagine feeling this type of love for someone else. That in itself brings me the utmost joy but also simultaneously fills me with a fear like no other. I often wonder if I’ll ever be able to let you go, to move on, to find love again. But even if I spent my life in hopeless desperation for your love, I wouldn’t care. I would rather spend my whole life waiting for you than settle for someone who isn’t you. I would wait my entire life to be with you. And I would give up everything for you.

I could pour my heart out to you every day for the rest of my life and still not even begin to scratch the surface of the monstrous iceberg of feelings I have for you. No words can ever encompass the way I feel about you.

I also want to say Thank you.. Thank you for being there, when no one else was. Thank you for the most amazing seven months in which we had loved each other. I am so grateful for you sticking around with me for as long as you did.

The next thing i need to say is, ironically,mis that I love you. You never thought you’d see those words come from me ever again, right? Well that makes two of us. I now appreciate and love you for the lessons you have taught me along the way. You taught me a lot life lessons, even after we broke up. It’s been almost five months since the day you broke my heart and I still love you, I always will. I can’t unlove you.

The third thing I need to tell you is I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things. I’m sorry for making mistakes. I’m sorry for running away when I got scared. I’m sorry I didn’t give you my all. I’m just over all sorry.

I’m going to end this letter on a more positive note and write another thank you. Thank you for pushing me to follow my dreams, I wouldn’t be writing this without you, literally. Thank you for everything you did to help my depression and anxiety, because of you I am okay now. Thank you for showing me that love can be shown in so many different ways, Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for teaching me how to trust. Thank you for being in love with me when you were. Thank you for being my first love. Thank you for kissing me in the rain Thank you!

Lastly, there are so many more I’m sorry’s, I love you’s and Thank you’s, but I will save those for another day.

With all my love,

© 2018 erums

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Added on January 30, 2018
Last Updated on January 30, 2018
Tags: Love, lost



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