A Years and a Half

Little short description of the one who got away

Dear past lover,
Today just hasn't been my day. I seem to say that sentence very often, would say almost every day. I have all this grief and dissapointment built inside of me. I want to be left alone, but at the same time I want comfort and empathy. I'm dissaponted mostly in myself for even one second thinking somebody could replace the empty hole that's been left inside me.. Ever since the one I loved most left me the night he told me he loved me. I am a critic when it comes to love stories, and it would be cynical of me to think I am in love at the age of sixteen, however, you've proven that theory awfully wrong. Perhaps you did love me, so much you just wanted the best for me. Perhaps, you did love me but I did you so wrong, you lost your love towards me in record time. Perhaps he did love me.. But how did he find someone else so rapidly? Why haven't I been able to do the same? Is this what unrequited love is? Or have I just been left broken? Unable to be fixed? Even after I try to find someone else, I find myself looking for you in them. I'm so addicted to the idea of you and I being together again someday. Even though you've already made it clear you don't want a dead rose, when you could have a gorgeous red one thriving with life. But just because I appear happy without you, doesn't mean I am.. Because even a white rose has a black shadow. Every lips I've tasted, don't indulce me with the same sweet taste of yours. Is this my punishment for not giving you what you deserved? I'm in lust with the others, but I'm in love with you. Anyday, I would drop everything and everybody to have a proper goodbye with you. To one last time kiss your plump pink lips, to one last time have your arms around my waist, to one last time hear you whisper my name. If only I could turn back time, however, that would be selfish in my part... As you seem happy with her. Trails of wet kisses down my neck with lips that aren't yours. Now it seems nobody can give me what I want to reach happiness. I didn't get butterflies in my stomach last night when he kissed me, and touched my body. As his touch is foreign and yours is home. I try to get high, to get rid of these thoughts, but they're a darkness that slowly engulfs me. If not, the darkness has already taken me.

Much love, your ex lover.