In a Glass Box

Today I feel inspired I haven't written for quite some time. Not so sure how I feel about this

Look at me
Can you not see, I'm trying
Harder than I've ever tried
My mouths wide open
My lips form the words
It's deafening, the sounds I produce
The ugly truth that contridicts these lies
Escaping me in all the wrong ways
So you're left to stare at me
Quite a sight I am
Silent
Wide eyes
Open mouth
Pleading
Don't look at me like that
It isn't what it seems
Come inside my head, take a seat
Stay awhile
If you have a while
What I can't say is killing me
And i am in control
Or that's what they keep telling me, anyway
How can they accuse me
As I watch myself die, slowly
Of playing a part
Stop your pacing
You've yet to understand
I'm really quite afraid, take my hand
Slipping on halftruths and spewing out pain
As I gaze at my failures I can still make out your face
I need you to tear me out of this place
I have created

Reviews

[J.Black]

I hear ya.

[Michael X]

your words create a powerful sense of desire and realisticness that imparts
a sense of shattered devotion, like a broken trust, in any regards,
this is powerful work, awsome job.

[Alessander]

this seems like a monologue, but it's adressed to a mystery person - kinda reminds me of a poem I just wrote called "shhhh" in that way. It seems like the speaker is having a moment of crisis, of realization, that something in his/her life must change - specifically the lies and what they're trying to hide - which is also a tantalizing mystery - what are these "failures" alluded to? the reader is kept in the dark.
On a nuts and bolts level, u need more images. that's kinda my mantra "more images" lol but I think it would add to this poem immensly. At the risk of pimping myself out lol u should look at "shhh" on my page to get an idea if u would want an image or what it does/nt do for a poem - in a lot of ways, this is like that poem. Anyhow, this is an easy read (in that it was smooth). look foward to ur other stuff.

[Orlando Murcia]

I felt a lot of frustration

I could be wrong

but either way this was a great write


Nice work

[deeps]

This is quite the emotion filled write here.
I like writers who can write from the heart.
This is wonderful but yet sad!

[Antonio Valentino]

I think we all live in this kind of house, its just that sometimes it feels like we can only look out, and no one else can look in. Estrella, this is very deep, I'm going to see if there's an extra seat, I'd like to know if all the things you can't say, are similar to mine.

I'm glad you're writing again.
It looks like a crack in the levee is about to burst.

Very meaningful here.
Enjoyed it very much!

Antonio