A Lover's Gaze

A Lover's Gaze

A Poem by Ethan

Would you stay here with me if I did so ask?

Am I certain that I wish to hear you say?

I, for one, can see the devil, lover-masked,

Staring blankly in my eyes this very day.

© 2019 Ethan


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Featured Review

The beauty of this is that it's short and sweet, but it doesn't need explanation. It tells you details, and the rest is left for your mind to consider. Poetry, to me, has a personal tie that cannot be broken. This piece makes me consider the past. Sure, it could be a reach, but I find the more a piece makes me consider myself - my history - the better the writing. It's a great work, Ethan. Nicely done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ethan

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much :)
Hosimone

3 Years Ago

I agree with you, BThomvan. I find that, if I write something that is connected to me, I write a lot.. read more



Reviews

I love how there is just so much room for interpretation which makes the poem relatable to almost everybody

Posted 1 Year Ago


I like it short beautiful and effectif good job

Posted 2 Years Ago


I really can never think of what to say about these shorter poems. They sort of speak for themselves, and that's a good thing. Good job.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Short but to the point. Loved this.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Wow, this one is deep. I like it a lot, you have a very interesting vision.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Words used to their best bro!!
I'm glad that I have read such contentful lines.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Ethan

3 Years Ago

Thank you :)
SHORT AND STRONG MEANING GOOD JOB!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ethan

3 Years Ago

Thank you Alem :)
Great job, this is very beautiful and dark.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ethan

3 Years Ago

Thanks a lot :P
I can relate to this poem a few times In my life well done

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ethan

3 Years Ago

:) Thank you
You are getting better. A couple of points:

Think about the necessity of "here" in L1. What does it add that's not inherent to the rest? And what does its removal do to prosody?

And while I'll give it to you, "Yoda speak," to make the rhyme is best avoided.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Ethan

3 Years Ago

You're right, "here" is just there so I could keep six foots of meter. What would you suggest I do?
JayG

3 Years Ago

I dunno. In looking at it, what does "did so" do that "If I asked," doesn't say? Yes, you need it fo.. read more
Ethan

3 Years Ago

Haha very true

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1092 Views
26 Reviews
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Added on June 29, 2017
Last Updated on April 18, 2019
Tags: poetry

Author

Ethan
Ethan

TX



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I try to get to read requests, but if you really need help just dm me. more..

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