Darling Fair

Darling fair, with bright and golden hair,

If you were mortal, I would never know.

A perfect, fallen angel you must be.

 

So, you heav’nly cherub; please stay true.

For though you often tell me you are mine,

I tend to forget it a lot of the time.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

If here reviews could be a single word,
My single word for this would then be: WOW!

Well done!!
(For sound purposes, I'd suggest to move "often" to before "tell me" rather than leave it after.....and I was going to say something about the last line being a bit wonky in regards to the musicality, but the way the musicality flows, I can say it kind of works.... veering from the set rhythm to end in style and the bang that is the line!)

[Ethan]

Ah yes, you're right, good idea. And yeah, I was trying to go for something with a couple amphibrachs on the last line. Does it end the line abruptly?

[emipoemi]

not at all. It's reads perfectly. You just need to remember to breathe in between "it" and "a" to really pack the punch of that charm.

[Ethan]

Oh okay, thank you very much :)

[emipoemi]

always with pleasure.

[rowan.taylorrr]

aw this is so sweet. it brings a warning feeling inside to read this, i love the line "for though you tell me often you are mine, i tend to forget it a lot of the time." well done ethan!

[Ethan]

Thank you.

[wordman]

a true relationship based on real love is just this way

[Ethan]

Very true, thanks for your review

[Mr.Writer]

The way you describe your love, her hair and her gracefulness to be an angel!
The poem expresses beautiful emotions such as happiness and being in love!
Well done, keep it up Ethan!

[Ethan]

Thank you Mr. Writr :)

[Ethan]

oops *Writer

[Mr.Writer]

Lol. no problem :)