Schemes of Death

Schemes of Death

A Poem by Evangeline

(C) 2010

A muffled cry escapes my lips 
Images of relent fill my mind 
in toiling clips 

So many days unwell spent... 

My body quivers with bubbling contempt 

Schemes of death capture my thoughts 
Trackless and dense 

they adopt a plot 

Fathoms circuit throughout my heart 

Self torment soon plays a part 

Sounds of ringing 
disrupt my attention 
Shoulders and breath 
release in tension 

Could your calling be redeemed? 

With clarity, 
you banish my alluring schemes 

Disarming words, I have applied 
You never hesitate 
to deny 

Don't you know, without you, 

I could have died?

© 2010 Evangeline

Author's Note

I prefer critical. Please be honest.
Comments appreciated.

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Really good, I really like your rhyming scheme, it's slightly different to what you see every day. It's slightly bone-chilling :)

Posted 13 Years Ago

Excellent work! I like how you use rhyme but at the same time it doesn't dictate form. You use it to enhance, not restrict your poem.

"Could your calling be redeemed?

With clarity,
you banish my alluring schemes"

I love it.

Posted 13 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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2 Reviews
Added on July 28, 2010
Last Updated on July 28, 2010
Tags: death, of, died, redeem, heart, depression, suicide, plot, sad, tension, ring, friend, love, past, lips, life, clips




Honestly I am rather young and have just now stared writing seriously. So please excuse me, for I am still learning. I shared some of my poetry with some close friends and the positive feedback has en.. more..

Forgotten Forgotten

A Poem by Evangeline