Schemes of Death

(C) 2010

A muffled cry escapes my lips 
Images of relent fill my mind 
in toiling clips 

So many days unwell spent... 

My body quivers with bubbling contempt 

Schemes of death capture my thoughts 
Trackless and dense 

they adopt a plot 

Fathoms circuit throughout my heart 

Self torment soon plays a part 

Sounds of ringing 
disrupt my attention 
Shoulders and breath 
release in tension 

Could your calling be redeemed? 

With clarity, 
you banish my alluring schemes 

Disarming words, I have applied 
You never hesitate 
to deny 

Don't you know, without you, 

I could have died?

Author's Note

I prefer critical. Please be honest.
Comments appreciated.

Reviews

[Radioactive]

Really good, I really like your rhyming scheme, it's slightly different to what you see every day. It's slightly bone-chilling :)

[Deepwood's Hart]

Excellent work! I like how you use rhyme but at the same time it doesn't dictate form. You use it to enhance, not restrict your poem.

"Could your calling be redeemed?

With clarity,
you banish my alluring schemes"

I love it.