Revelations

Revelations

A Poem by ewest1220
"

It will mean something different to everyone who reads it

"

Revelations

By: Ethan West


I walk amongst this bitter place

The pictures hang my face on high

To see what was beyond my face

Would take more than sweet natures' cry


And yet, in morrow I debate

My voice like teardrops to the wind

Could life itself be in my hate

My hate forthcoming from within


I stand to fight the hall of mine

Each picture ripped from dusty space

Each joyous sound in steep decline

And every sorrow on my face


Till I yet find the one of mine

That has a smile from his face

Perhaps it would but give me time

Time to finish off this space


Yet in my heart I know him false

The me I see in picture nigh

And in this circle I will waltz

The picture hanging from on high


Till once again the picture gone

And this sorrowed hall I then commence

To rip apart the battered throng

Of me and me I banish hence


And if I'm lost I did not care

I did not heed my worried tone

The scattered me was shattered there

And in this battered hall a throne


And in this chair there bore a light

The light which served to aid my fate

A light which bore me greater blight

And sealed me in with my own hate


So here I stand before you now

A broken, barren bitter slate

But in my eyes I now see how

To maybe free what I create


And in this circle I'll arise

And in this though I will begin

To pray with all my heart of lies

That this poem shall find it's end

© 2012 ewest1220


Author's Note

ewest1220
Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

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Featured Review

I see why you like this one.... It is quite exquisite! I think that's a great word to describe it. Compared to the other two I've read (and this was much longer), there was hardly a bump in the rhythm - fourth stanza, fourth line, and the very last line of the poem, both are missing a pickup syllable; and stanza 6 line 2 is a bit strange. But otherwise your flow is impeccable, and despite a strong meter and rhyme, it doesn't come off as sing-songy. Beyond the mundane of syllables, the word use is wonderful, the alliterative play and tasteful repetition of concepts very effective. Some favorite moments: "The scattered me was shattered there / And in this battered hall a throne". How stanza 5 line 4 brings back the second line of the poem. Stanza 8 - all of it - it's quite fun to read.

The one complaint I can come up with - and I had to wrack my brain for something - would be a little more punctuation in spots. This goes for all your poems, though thankfully the lack doesn't usually confuse. But for instance, stanza 6, did you mean "To rip apart the battered throng / Of me[,] and me I banish hence"? I feel like there should be a comma there, but it's possible you mean something very different from what I was reading. Anyways, just a thought. The poem itself is a favorite of mine as well :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

That's a good point a comma really should be there. Past that I'm really quite thrilled you enjoyed.. read more
David Michael

7 Years Ago

I equally love being able to actually enjoy someone's work! I often get asked to look at stuff, and .. read more



Reviews

I see why you like this one.... It is quite exquisite! I think that's a great word to describe it. Compared to the other two I've read (and this was much longer), there was hardly a bump in the rhythm - fourth stanza, fourth line, and the very last line of the poem, both are missing a pickup syllable; and stanza 6 line 2 is a bit strange. But otherwise your flow is impeccable, and despite a strong meter and rhyme, it doesn't come off as sing-songy. Beyond the mundane of syllables, the word use is wonderful, the alliterative play and tasteful repetition of concepts very effective. Some favorite moments: "The scattered me was shattered there / And in this battered hall a throne". How stanza 5 line 4 brings back the second line of the poem. Stanza 8 - all of it - it's quite fun to read.

The one complaint I can come up with - and I had to wrack my brain for something - would be a little more punctuation in spots. This goes for all your poems, though thankfully the lack doesn't usually confuse. But for instance, stanza 6, did you mean "To rip apart the battered throng / Of me[,] and me I banish hence"? I feel like there should be a comma there, but it's possible you mean something very different from what I was reading. Anyways, just a thought. The poem itself is a favorite of mine as well :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

That's a good point a comma really should be there. Past that I'm really quite thrilled you enjoyed.. read more
David Michael

7 Years Ago

I equally love being able to actually enjoy someone's work! I often get asked to look at stuff, and .. read more
Something to read over and over again! Dearest EW, I've now fallen head over heels with your writing. :) I enjoyed this entirely more than I thought was possible. The last bit was what triggered a reaction. Something so deep, and serious that brought a new reaction out of me. :) Great job. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Wow I'm at a loss for words. Thank you so much I'm absolutely thrilled that you enjoyed my work tha.. read more
unknown

7 Years Ago

I'm glad you shared it. :) It's something that not a lot of people can come up with the gumption to .. read more
ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Likewise :)
This is fantastic. I want to use it for my blog, on here, of course. Could I?

emilythestrange xxxx

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

That would be great! I would be honored to be featured in your blog thank you so much for the oppor.. read more
ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Sorry it took so long to respond. I've been busy in my personal life just got back to normal a coup.. read more
emilythestrange

7 Years Ago

It's ok... I'll use it tomorrow if I get time :)
Enjoyed this poem,
It flowed well.
Especially liked the last stanza, and last line.
A lot of unanswered questions?
Thanks for sharing,
Lizbeth


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks for reading! I'm really glad you enjoyed this piece!
Lizbeth

7 Years Ago

Always a pleasure ...
The ending is so impeccable i'm lost with my words, i'm jealous of how you get so many reviews, lol.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

lol thank you my friend I'm glad you liked it!
Brandon Mathis

7 Years Ago

I don't know how anyone couldn't like them!!
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Pax
nicely compose and very emotional

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks!
This is really powerful and inspiring. I like this poem a lot along with all of your other poems.

Love your inspiration man :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed my work!
This was amazing E.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks!
The character seems abondaned. This is some of the greatest ones!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Abandoned? That's actually an interesting angle I like it. Thank you so much for reading I'm thril.. read more
This flows so well... and means so much that I couldn't help but read it over and over... I love the pure POWER behind your words and the deeper meaning...
This is beautiful :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ewest1220

7 Years Ago

Thanks! I'm really thrilled you liked it!
Rox Bain ☮

7 Years Ago

You're welcome :)

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1035 Views
27 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on July 17, 2012
Last Updated on July 17, 2012
Tags: Poem, Dark, Reflective, Thoughtful

Author

ewest1220
ewest1220

Columbia Falls, MT



About
I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I have been featured in about 4 books, have won several contests for my work and currently have a paperback edition of my works. (Titled "A Winter Wa.. more..

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