The Two Lovers

The Two Lovers

By: Ethan West

This is the ballad

When all is not well

When a line must be drawn

Between heaven and hell

It started with something

Something peaceful, and strange

The bright gates of gold

And heaven's great range

But where was my love

Who I'd left behind?

Was she still down below

In an earth so unkind?

I walked to the gate

My mind lost in thought

As the angel approached

I knew what I sought

That if heaven was mine

Then was heaven wrong?

I was nothing compared

To my love and her song

An angel then asked

"Do you wish to come in?

To forget all your worries

In forgiven sin?"

I then asked the angel

"Where is my love?"

He pointed his hand

With the grace of a dove

The clouds had now parted

I could see within

I saw her on fire

I saw her in sin

I then asked the angel

"Why is she here?

She is better than I

Is that not plainly clear?"

The angel then asked

"Then why are you here?

She's been judged to be damned

And the reason is clear."

I thought in cold silence

And angel then asked

"Would you like to come in?

Your sorrow wont last"

I opened my mouth

Than closed it again

The angel looked puzzled

By what he heard then

I asked him and pleaded

To trade with her place

I begged on my knees

For God's loving grace

And the angel then said

"Are you sure you want this?

To take on her sins

So she may have bliss?"

I paused, and then nodded

With a deep breath I fell

Without scream, without shout

To the bowels of hell

But when I had landed

In the fire, my fee

I looked to my side

At my love next to me

"Why are you here?

I yelled o'er the mass

Of souls of the damned

From present and past

Had I been fooled by an angel

My eyes brought to tear

Until then she told  me

"I would rather be here.

My heaven was hell

Without you by my side

Do you feel the same?

Or is it just I?"

I stared at her smile

As she stared in my eyes

And I shouted I love you

Over the screaming and cries

She smiled back at me

But tears filled her face

They were all tears of pain

In this terrible place

But then her eyes opened

And she opened mine

In a bed of white cloud

With no passing of time

And at the great gate

Of heaven we asked

"Are we then forgiven

For all of our past?"

And the lord came to us

And his smile was wide

He said come to me now

And be by my side

And while I never will know

What happened before

With her by my side

I could want nothing more

Author's Note

The one and only ballad I've ever written. Would love feedback on it if you guys have time.

Reviews

[Lizbeth]

Wow, this is just an amazing and beautiful pieace of poetry, so moving and with some powerful imagery.
It would be nice to know that if one lands in hell, there might be a chance to escape :)
Was relieved there was a happy end ... !
Thanks for sharing.
Lizbeth

[ewest1220]

Wow thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed my work and thank you so much for reading!

[Kaela]

I'm all mushy now... Very sweet!

[ewest1220]

Glad you liked it!

[L0v3craft]

I was actually expecting this to have a dark and sad twist, like maybe the narrator learns that his lover cheated him in some way or was secretly an evil ninja or something of the sort :P

This ended with a lovely, though clichéd romantic appeal-- BUT who can resist a happy ending?

Oh! And I'm with Melody on that the poem reminded me of Orpheus & Eurydice.

[ewest1220]

lol man did I rip someone off?! I gotta read this thing. I thought about treachery but it's a ballad. Tough to make murder singsong without looking like a sociopath : P

[L0v3craft]

Pffft, I'd say go for it, sociopaths could use some love :P
lol

[ewest1220]

Ha! Two-Shay lol they probably could

[Helena]

Well Eathan I don't know anything about ballads, so I googled it! Your poem is spot on regards to form. Structually just how a ballad should be. Almost a song to sing along.. Much enjoyed! Good work poet!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I have a hard time getting that singsong nature to flow so this one was a great challenge for me. Thanks again for reading!

[Helena]

You are most welcome. Looking forward to reading more from you! Helena :)

[Kacee]

I adored it! I couldn't peel my eyes away from your words! I love the story within it. Great job and well written.
I would suggest making maybe more ballads talking about maybe why the lord brought them out of hell, and possibly what the girl did to get there? That would also lead into somee interesting stories.
:D

[ewest1220]

Hmm intriguing. I just might do that. Thank you so much for reading. If you have time you should check out my other works as well. Also send me a read request for some of your stuff. I'd love to return the favor!

[Admiral Kirk]

This poem is awesome! It really expresses true love, to be willing to go to hell just because that's where your love is... Even if it means burning away in eternal suffering... Well expressed, and very well written. Great job!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! This one was one of those ones I wasn't too sure of I'm so used to writing in a dark tone this was a change of pace for me. I'm really glad you liked it!

[Admiral Kirk]

Yeah, great job. It's always good to experiment. :)

[sheila.j]

that was really great! youre an amazing writer!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! Send me a read request I'd love to read some of your works as well.

[Melody]

I honestly...Do not know what to say because I'm still stunned by beauty.
The rhyme is strong and helps the point come across a lot stronger. I love it. :)
I almost forgot to say that this reminds me of Orpheus and Eurydice a bit. Quite a great greek love story...One of the best. Anyway, that's what it reminds of a bit.

[ewest1220]

I'm once again thrilled that you like it! I'm still posting things so stay tuned. Also make sure to send me some read requests as well so I can read your stuff!

[Melody]

You got it. :) I edited my review lol. I just wanted to say that this poem reminded me of the story of Orheus and Eurydice. :) I don't really know how, because well...yeah. Lol.

[ewest1220]

You know I know of the story but I've never read it. I'll look it up. This whole poem started because a friend asked what would I do if this happened so I just wrote how I felt. Again I'm really glad you liked it :D

[Melody]

It's an interesting story. :) Ah....That's some good inspriration right there. :) Glad I liked it too.

[Tai Ryens]

I am not sure of what to say of this. I mean, I myself enjoyed it but I think it could use improvements. Good job though.

[ewest1220]

That's exactly what I think. This one isn't my favorite and I find it a tad cliche. But I've looked through the rhyme scheme and I had the hardest time changing anything in it. So there you have it lol thanks for the review

[Tai Ryens]

I know exactly what you mean, the rhyme scheme is the only thing that holds back many great ideas.read moreI know exactly what you mean, the rhyme scheme is the only thing that holds back many great ideas.
Oh yes, and I do wonder why the wife was in hell. I mean, based on this man's personality, shouldn't he have chosen a good girl as well? And I do find that the concept of pulling your lover out of hell is contradictory to many religions.

[ewest1220]

The way I see that one is how will know till we're there. As far as why the wife is in hell I haven't a clue. But she's there all right lol thanks for reading man. Your input is alway appreciated!

[ewest1220]

*always